Thursday, July 28, 2011

29 Batters: A Visual Representation of Ervin Santana's No-Hitter

With gratitude to Jeff Sullivan for pioneering the form. Follow along here.


I believe in myself! With love and a little elbow grease, anything is possible!

 

First Inning

There goes your perfect game, amigo.

My bad, brah. Kinda fell asleep for a second. Looong night.

Gee whiz, talk about an unproductive out! Sorry, fellas!

Advance the runner, am I right? Fuggedaboutit.

There goes your shutout, amigo.

When you're right, you're right.

I still believe in myself! Life is an ongoing treasure!

OH FUDDY DUD, A STRIKEOUT.

 

Second Inning

Seriously, make a Santana joke. Just try it. I dare you.

Life ain't nothin' but heartache and strife. Might just as well ground out.

WASSSUP DUDES! I just watched that third strike like it was a 3-foot wave! This guy's good!



Third Inning

Heh-heh. Heh-heh-heh. Yer awful pretty. Aw durnit a grounder.

Now if I just calculate the velocity and approach angle, this should be child's play OH BLAST A STRIKEOUT.

You got me this time, amigo, but we will see each other soon.

 

Fourth Inning

Golly, you hate to start an inning with a simple grounder. Yeesh and phooey!

Eh, what are you gonna do? Everyone strikes out. C'monnn.

PARDON MY FRENCH, BUT I AM PLAYING CRAPTASTIC BALL.

 

Fifth Inning

I can just tell you want to say something about the guitarist who shares my name. I can just tell.

That's just one out closer to death, is all. Don't suppose the world could get much sadder.

WHOA, brosephs! Another out! That dude on the mound is straight jammin!

 

Sixth Inning

Heh-heh. Heh-heh-heh. You want I should take yer photo? Aw tarnation I grounded it again.

This is nothing more than simple physics. I swing now, and OH MERCURY'S MOTHER, A GROUNDER.

Dios mio, brother, you have fooled me. But soon, you will dance with el diablo.

 

Seventh Inning

Shucks, if I wasn't raised to know better, I'd have a mind to wander off and curse right about now!

What do I care, I got three car dealerships in Jersey doing 10 mill in a bad month. Out the wazoo, BABY!

I AM PLAYING LIKE A PIECE OF TURD! THEY SHOULD TRADE ME FOR A BRICK!

 

Eighth Inning

How the hell can I focus when everyone wants to make a mockery of my name! I'm NOT paranoid!

Sure, I reckon I'll walk to first. But a casket is every man's true destination, and his ticket shall be redeemed.

This is gnarley. I know I should be upset, but man, you gotta respect a dude who straight rocks it out.

Heh-heh. Heh-heh-heh. I'd sure like to go a-courtin' with you. Aw hellfire, I plain swung at air.

 

Ninth Inning

Three outs until history! How could any man not love this bountiful earth!

YEEEE-HAW! I'M WILD TRAVIS BUCK, AND I'M HERE TO PINCH HIT!

Never lose that spirit, Travis! Now sit down.

CAN I BORROW FIFTY DOLLARS?! I CAN PAY YOU BACK TOMORROW!

Go on back to the dugout, son. I'm Tim Barrett, home plate umpire. Hello.

Oye, amigo! You may have got me out this game, but this isn't over! We will dance again!

Oh my, one more batter. I will be sorry to see an end to another wonderful day.

Oh, bushel corn! I've muffed it again! Mike Brantley, you are a preacher's cuss!

Christmas came early! I could just about cry!


(PS: Happy 700th post to this blog.)

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