Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Sporadic Tuesday

Let's go to the asterisks, baby!

*The Vikings lost last night in a MNF game I didn't watch. This result:

a) Pisses me off: as you may know, the Giants finish their season at Minnesota next weekend. If we'd taken care of business against Carolina, it would have been the game that decided our playoff fate. AND THEY STINK! The really annoying part of this is that we're probably still going to beat Minnesota. Coughlin will get in everyone's ear about playing for pride, we'll catch a few breaks, Favre will whine about something, and we'll win a meaningless game. All this will happen just to piss me off. I guarantee it.

b) Thrills me: one of the best parts of the last three NFL seasons has been watching Favre's annual late-season meltdown. I used to love him as a kid, back when he was a fearless gunslinger who embodied some kind of maverick spirit, but then he turned into an arrogant diva who seemed to need every camera in the room trained on him at all times. I sort of loathe him now, and it's nice to see the pendulum swinging back into Favre-unraveling territory. The latest update is that they've lost home field advantage through the first two rounds! Which means, my friends, that ole Brett is going to have to bundle up and play in the cold in round 2 against Philadelphia (if they can win the first game against Dallas or (holy shit!) Green Bay, which is doubtful). Easy prediction: Philly 94, Minnesota 2.

*This leads me to a thought that I've been trying to avoid for a few days now: Philly is really good. Like, Super Bowl good, maybe. Believe me, I don't enjoy this fact any more than you, but it has to be said. Now that the Giants are out of the playoffs, I can admit it. It would be the perfect story, too...Andy Reid and Donovan finally getting their first super bowl ring together, the city of Philadelphia recovering from the Phillies loss, and Michael Vick standing on the podium after the game, holding two dead dogs by their necks, blood trickling from the corners of his mouth, eyes wild...oops, got carried away. Sort of like all the dogs got carried away after Michael Vick trained them to kill each other for his amusement. Sort of like that. (Applaud now)

*Duke plays tonight. It's against Long Beach State, and will probably be the last game on the schedule that's not televised. I imagine we'll win. Conference play begins next Sunday!

*I have to post an excerpte from a g-chat conversation I had with my friend Kyle yesterday. It's totally unrelated to sports, but so hysterical that more people need to read it. Disclaimer: Kyle, though gifted with a strange sense of humor, is not a serial killer or even borderline psychotic (I think).

Kyle: haha, interesting comment a min ago
i went to HR to turn in a timesheet for one of my team members
i ask the HR girl for a pen
she said 'no, you cannot have a pen'
in a fun playful mood
i say
'well ill just write it in your blood then'
in a fun playful tone
silence
me: haha did you really say that?
Kyle: yes
prob shouldnt of

I was laughing the rest of the day about that.

*It's that time again!

THE STRUGGLE-TO-REMAIN-OPTIMISTIC BOWL CORNUCOPIA OF SHAME!

First, a great big thank you to Georgia for coming through last night. By massacring the Aggies, you preserved my self-worth, at least for the time being. I'm turning this ship around, and you were my steering wheel.

Pipe Dream Goals:

25-9 straight up
20-14 against the spread


Current:

5-6 straight up
3-8 against the spread


Today's Games: UCLA (-5) vs. Temple, 4:30pm

Other than USC, the Pac-10 has laid an egg, and UCLA finished 3-6 in their league. Why not roll with Temple, a top MAC team playing their first bowl game in 30 years? Why? Well, one reason is that they got thumped by Ohio at the end of the year, a team that looked like hell losing an earlier bowl game to Marshall. Another reason is that they're not as athletic as UCLA. Then again, the game is in DC, a quick bus or train from Temple but a long flight for UCLA. And how motivated can the Bruins possibly be? They were embarrassed in their last game at USC, and they've wilted against good teams all season. I'm at a total loss here, but my gut is telling me to split the difference.

I Like: UCLA straight up, Temple against the spread.


#15 Miami (-3) vs. #25 Wisconsin, 8pm

Hooray, my first chance to pick against the Big-10!!! Making this one extra fun is that I've watched and enjoyed Miami all year; Jacory Harris is a rising star and incredibly entertaining, and I love Randy Shannon as a coach. This team plays with nuts. Wisconsin? Boring. They can kinda run. If they have the ball 4th-and-inches on the Miami 35, they'll punt. I plan to do a crossword puzzle when they're on offense.

I Like: Miami both ways.

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