Monday, August 23, 2010

Happy Birthday, Seth Curry!

Sometime late Saturday afternoon, I took a look at my statcounter page and realized I was getting a ton of hits for a weekend. When that happens, it either means the blog was linked somewhere, or a bunch of weirdos in Finland simultaneously googled Dolph Lundgren or something. But this was not a case of Helsinki Madness. It turns out the fellas at Crazie-Talk- four Duke undergrads, if the 'about us' section is to be believed- asked Seth Curry on twitter if he ever read this blog. Seth didn't respond (too busy saving Duke), but I did find out that today is his 20th birthday.

With that in mind, I'd like to dedicate a Weekend Awesomeness Scale to Our Savior Mr. Curry. The following recent events are rated from worst to best, with an analogous and hypothetical incident from the life of Seth Curry.


1 - As Awesome as Seth Curry Taking Off His Mask and Revealing That He's Really Steve Blake

This one goes out to the fans of Team Japan in the Little League World Series. Disclaimer: I like Team Japan itself. I like their peaked caps, I like their passion, I like their style, and I like the fact that they basically kick everyone's ass. But the fans...good God. Their cheers are way too organized, and way too robotic. They sit there with nearly blank expressions, going through their routines, with none of the spontaneous energy you associate with fandom. "Oh, my son hit a triple? Time for the triple cheer- Triple Triple Triple. You made it to three bases. Triple Triple Triple. Surely we will win." That last bit was translated by me, so I can't vouch for the accuracy, but you get the idea. Anyway, the whole thing reminds me of being in church as a kid, and watching all the old ladies sing the Catholic hymnal. You don't deny their passion, but you wish there was a less creepy expression for it.

I don't know Seth Curry personally, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't stand for this shit. If he was in Williamsport, he'd whip them into shape. By the end of the game they'd be hopping up and down like Cameron Crazies.

2 - As Awesome as Seth Curry Transferring Back to Liberty Just Before the Final Four

We'll throw this one out to the Tom's River Little League team. We all remember that town's '98 squad, with their exciting run to the title. But this year's version is already done after two quick losses to Ohio and Hawaii. Also, their coach was one of those fast-talking guys who spouts cliches and never let his players get a word in edgewise. Every time he went to the mound, it looked like this.

Coach: Alright, how ya feeling? It's rough out here, but you're doing great and I'm proud of you. You feeling good? You feeling alright? You ready to give it your all?

Player: Coach, I-

Coach: That's it, that's it. Keep it humming in here. Keep it smooth. You're having a little trouble, but I believe in you. Can you do this? Can we count on you?

Player: Well-

Coach: Great, great. We're taking you out. You've had enough. Are you okay with that? Are you good? You did us proud, kid.

Player: But-

Coach: Vinnie! Come in! Great job, bub, great work. But you're out of gas, you're done. Great work. You're a credit to the game.

3 - As Awesome As Seth Curry Attacking Nolan Smith For No Reason in the Middle of a Game

This unfortunate-but-interesting category goes out to Lou Piniella's retirement. It's been a long and illustrious career, but he called it quits after yesterday's game so he could attend to his mother's illness. Piniella is a guy who every Yankee fan claims to want any time the team looks lackadaisical. Because he's fiery and passionate, people think he can whip a team into shape. Piniella won two World Series titles as a player, and one as a manager, and finishes with the 14th most wins in MLB history. Even if I tend to like my managers more calm and measured, you can't argue with that track record.

Due to time constraints, we now skip to #s 8-10...

8 - As Awesome As Seth Curry Dunking So Hard On Harrison Barnes That Barnes Starts Weeping and Finds Religion

We'll give this one to Team USA's win against Spain in the warm-up to the World Championships in Turkey. I couldn't watch this online, which was annoying, and the win was pretty narrow considering we have the best team in the world. But Kevin Durant was awesome, and had two huge blocks at the end of the game when Coach K and Boeheim switched everyone to the Syracuse 2-3 zone.

9 - As Awesome As Seth Curry Becoming The First Duke Player To Fly In A Game

Impossible? Not nearly, my friends. He has it in him, I'm convinced. Just like the Holy Crow, Robinson Cano, has it in him to hit four home runs in six games, and to compile a career-high 6 RBI in yesterday's win against Seattle. The dude is on an absolute power tear, and he's keeping the Yankees atop the AL East. MVP.

10 - As Awesome As Seth Curry Shooting Foul Shots That Are So Perfect The Ref Awards Him Six Points

Again, it doesn't seem possible. But if the Yankees can go 12-0 on the year without A-Rod in the lineup, Seth Curry can hit an uncontested six pointer from the foul line. It's the year of magic, my friends. It's the sporting Annus Mirabilis.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, this is one of those four Duke undergrads who run Crazie-Talk...thanks for the shoutout. I like this blog a lot (not a Yankee fan-at all-but nonetheless).

    I'll tweet this article for safe measure. Keep up the awesome work.