Losing Kyrie - Blessing in Disguise?

I promise I'm not trying to be a super-contentious sports writer by taking a controversial stand just for the hell of it. That will come in my next post: "Coach K - Deserves to be Jailed?" I'm actually serious about this one. Let's look at the facts, and start with a caveat:

Caveat: I am, of course, assuming that Kyrie misses only a few games. He's one of the best players in the country and already my favorite Dukie in some time. This whole "theory" assumes that he'll be back for the start of ACC play in January or shortly after. I'm being optimistic on this one and trying to ignore the strange warnings that he could be gone for a very long time.

1. The team looked a little out of sorts on offense in yesterday's win. Especially in the first half. They put up 51 points in the second, but they never really looked smooth.

2. It's reasonable to believe the team came to rely on Kyrie, talented as he is, to run the offense and keep things fluid. As Singler put it: ""There was just no continuity. We weren't hitting our posts [inside]. It was different without Kyrie out on the court. So just throughout the game, I think we got more comfortable with the lineup we had out on the court. That's a good thing because we are a different team without Kyrie out on the court. The stuff that we're doing is different, so we need to get more familiar with it."

3. Without him, they'll have to learn those things on their own. If they can accomplish that, they'll be a much better team. This is particularly true for Seth Curry, who now has a little breathing room from which to find his game.

4. When Kyrie returns to a squad that's found its identity and discovered how to be great all on their own, Duke will be unbeatable.

That being said, some of the quotes coming from people in the know are making me absolutely sick. Specifically this:

He said the team hopes to learn more about his status in the next week to 10 days, though he said there was a possibility that Irving might be lost for the season.

"I can't say anything more because we're learning information," Krzyzewski said. "It is serious and whatever final decision is made, it's going to be based on what's in his best interests in his career, not to save him for any period of time or whatever. But he could be out for a long time."

IT'S A SPRAINED TOE. FIX IT. FIX THE TOE. FIX IT NOW. QUIT BEING WEIRD ABOUT A SPRAINED TOE. AGAIN, IT'S A SPRAINED TOE! I CAN'T TAKE THIS RIGHT NOW. THIS WOULD BE UNFAIR. SERIOUSLY, QUIT BEING WEIRD ABOUT A MOTHERF&#@ING TOE.

This has been: a doctor.


I'm nervous. I'll be nervous until we hear more. But there's nothing else to do at this point. Needless to say, if the worst case scenario comes true, it would be a hard shot to the gut.

Nothing to do but move on. Yesterday, we started the Duke Hot Potato, a game where readers pick the number of points scored by a specific player each game. We're still ironing out the kinks, but loyal reader Dylan and I have come up with a few rules.

A. Instead of an all-time score, each participant will have a game average. So if you get 3 the first game and 5 the second game, your score will be "4" rather than "8." (Keep in mind, your score is the difference between your pick and the actual points scored.) This will allow new people to join without making it impossible to compare scores. And don't worry, at the end of the year we'll require a minimum # of games participated in to qualify.

B. If anyone nails the player's score on the button, they get a -3 bonus. Dylan was the only guy to get 8 yesterday, but I promise we made this rule beforehand. Still, though, I think Dylan's a cheater.

That's really it. If you have any other suggestions, let me know. We're thinking about a slight penalty if someone joins late in order to keep things fair. Maybe +3 per game that you miss.

Anyway, Seth Curry scored 8 points last night. A lot of people went high, thinking he'd benefit from Kyrie's absence, but it was a modest night for the inspiration behind this blog. Here are the current standings:


Congratulations to Marion (who also had a sweet idea for a Cameron Crazie "Kyrie Eleison" chant), Matlock, and John for getting within 1 point, and of course to Dylan for coming out with guns ablaze. He just made a statement, field. Congrats also to Dick K for being hilariously wrong with the highest guess of 25. Never stop believing, Dick K!

The next game is against St. Louis on Saturday at noon, and I'll name the hot potato at the beginning of tomorrow's post.

Moving on, it's time for:

CONFUSING G-CHATS WITH MY STEPFAHER

Tom, my stepfather, is a lucid and intelligent person in most walks of life. However, get him on g-chat and you never know what the hell is going to happen. It's like he's trying to transcribe a Chinese speech with a miniature pen and wet paper. Here's the latest, from yesterday, with lots of asterisks and carrots:

Tom:

did you get my comment and predictions for you blog a few minutes ago? Don't know if they went thru on the comment thing.*

Me:

I'm not sure if i got them
i don't think so
paste it to me

Tom:

Our namesake scores 15 tonight, "Lord Irving" takes me back to my days in the UK when I was "someone", once. How bout Bill Bradley, kinda apropos, isn't it? Singler is "The Saw" as he cuts and scores both "in and out" from the boards.

Me:

i like it
i just posted it for you
what happened to bill bradley?**

Tom:

dpm
dpm
don't know what the hell i doing with this***
Bill Bradley became a senator from New Jersey, had a run at the presidency or VP in primaries and I think is dead.****

Me:

did he die today??

Tom:

no

Me:

what the hell are you talking about?^

Tom:

john lennon did^^
your bradley's of famous names in the blog^^^

Me:

oh

*Of course they didn't. Asking him to successfully complete a simple task on the internet is like asking a squirrel to change the oil in your car.

**Rookie mistake. Never ask someone like my stepfather to clarify something on the internet. It's like fighting a land war with Russia. You only end up shivering and hungry, wondering what went wrong.

***Tom typing "dpm" twice and then saying he doesn't know what the hell he's doing was easily the highlight of the chat.

****Thanks for telling me who Bill Bradley is. It's not like I read an entire book about him or anything. Also, he's not dead.

^Another rookie mistake. Just walk away, man! (You'll notice we've had to move away from asterisks. Such is the epic quality of a g-chat with Tom.)

^^John Lennon did not die today. He died many years ago. It was on December 8, though. This made the most sense of anything he said.

^^^Ah, I see. He was talking about the thing on my blog where I said that famous people with the first name Bradley were rare.

Summary: I am a disrespectful young person, and g-chats with Tom are always a baffling adventure.

Okay, let's do some Duke grades and head on out of here.

Young Threezy: A+. YES. YES. YES. Well done, Baby Dawk. 8-14 from three? We. Will. TakeIt. Wonderful game from Dawkins, and further proof that he's developed into a huge threat. This young fellow is a pure scorer. He made me want to rap on twitter last night. Behold: Eyes like the hawk, cock of the walk, king of the chalk, head of the flock, never been on lock from the three or the block, it's BABY DAWK. He's easy, he's breezy, ain't never been sleezy or cheesy but D him up and you be queasy, will he light you up? si si, he's Young Threezy. That'll do.


Nolan Smith: B-. Should we start being worried about Nolan's shot, guys? It looks flat as hell, and he's not making it. 0-8 from the field last night. 2 points from someone with Nolan's skill just ain't gonna cut it. He did have 10 assists and a strong passing game, though, keeping him from C territory. The constant redeeming quality is that he's a leader despite his own play.


Kyle Singler: B+. He had one of those quietly decent Singler-esque games. At the end, you never would have guessed he scored 17 points or shot 44% from 3.


Seth Curry: B-. This analysis from a friend of Swetha (of Swetha & Sabreena fame) made me cringe: "Seth Curry is like when you see a toy that looks really cool but then it breaks as soon as you open the box." He's still not scoring, but at least he managed the game semi-decently when he was running the point.


Plumdog Billionaire: B-. Bradley almost out-rebounded us. Not acceptable. Only 2 points for Mason, along with 7 boards and a block. Kind of an "eh" night, although I will say that Bradley focused on him, opening up other options down low. Such as:


Miles Plumblebum: B. He can make dunks.


Ryan Kelly: B-. Kinda seems like a non-entity on this year's team. Big-man filler, and he fouls a bit too much.


Josh Hairston B. Hey, he had a really nice move down low! Hopefully it's a harbinger of the future. Also, can we nickname him "Hair Club"?


Team Defense: A-. This is the best part of our team right now. 11 offensive boards for Bradley is too many, but otherwise the swarm is still active, even without Kyrie.

******
That's a wrap. Tomorrow, the final week of Pick 6 and the continuation of HOT POTATO.

The Duke Fantasy Game: Hot Potato

Guys...I have an idea. It's hot potato.


We're about to enter the doldrums of the Duke schedule, that time between the fun early games and the start of ACC action when we play community colleges from Eastern Europe or somewhere. I need some amusement to keep me going. This is pretty short notice, but I'd like to start a little fantasy game. The rules will be pretty simple: before each Duke game, I pick one player on the roster. That player is the 'hot potato.' Everyone has to guess how many points the hot potato will score. The difference between your guess and the actual points is your score for the day.

Time to blow your mind: A lower score is better. Just like golf.

Important note: The Hot Potato might be a terrible name. I'm not even sure what it means, and I realize it bears no resemblance to the actual hot potato game of our youth. I'll be accepting alternative suggestions.

The Hot Potato for Duke vs. Bradley is:


Seth Curry

If it works, we'll keep this going for the whole season, with scores carrying over and an eventual champ being crowned. There'll be standings and all kinds of fun throughout. I'll update today's picks in the blog post throughout the day. Leave your score and name in the comments section. You can use a fake name if you'd like.

Request for readers: please don't humiliate me by not doing this. If my name is the only one below at the end of the day, my self-esteem will be shattered and my next blog will be all the sad poems I write. The first poem is called "An Empty Heart." You get the idea; it's bad stuff. AND THIS IS SO EASY.

Today's Picks:

UPDATE: Reader Dylan has awesomely made a spread sheet that will keep things tabulated. Instead of posting everyone's guess here, I'll post the standings the day after a game.

******
Last night, Syracuse put the mollywhomp down on Michigan State, beating them on a neutral floor by a wider margin than Duke managed at home. Mighty Rick Jackson had more boards than a dude working the lumber section at Lowe's. Fewer divorces, too. After the game, Tom Izzo used some uber-masculine language to imply that his team was effeminate.

""It's gut check time for us," he said. "I'm as disappointed in that performance as I've been in any since I've been at Michigan State. Credit Syracuse or the one man who kicked our butt. We didn't come early inside and let them dominate on the boards. We turned into a pretty-boy jump-shooting team instead of the blue-collar, fist-fighting team we should be.

"The aggressive team usually gets the advantage," Izzo said, "but we were taking it like a sissy and they took it up like men."

A furious Izzo then went into his bag and took out twelve of these, demanding that his team wear them on the plane ride home:


When asked why he had the skirts in the first place, Izzo blushed and stammered for three minutes. When asked if he would be wearing one himself, Izzo was adamant. "Hey, we're a team."

So Syracuse is evidently quite good. They make other teams "take it like a sissy." Sounds awful. The Orange were my team growing up, along with Duke (liked the Devils ever since Laettner's shot, which cemented my love of sports), and I've always hoped for a dream final between the two schools. Something like that might actually be awful, since if Duke lost I'd have a twinge of guilt for wishing Syracuse to the title game, but on the other hand it'd be a pretty great match-up of awesome coaches. Also, my dad went to Syracuse, so if Duke won I'd have something to lord over him for the rest of time.

Let's take a quick Wednesday peek at the ranks of the undefeated. Here are the unblemished teams remaining, in order of rank:

Duke
Ohio State
Pittsburgh
Kansas
Connecticut
Syracuse
Georgetown
Baylor
San Diego State
BYU
UNLV
Notre Dame
Louisville
Northwestern

Those are just the ones in the top 25 plus Northwestern, so there may be more. But if you're keeping score at home, that's six Big East teams of the 14 remaining. There will be some doozy throwdowns in that conference.

Moving on: my boy Saunders informed me the other day that the name Kyrie, in Greek, means "Lord." Wikipedia confirms: "It is the common name of an important prayer of Christian liturgy, also called Kýrie, eléison which is Greek for Lord, have mercy."

I've been tossing around ideas all year for the important question of Kyrie's nickname. This information really changes the debate, though. Clearly, his nickname has to incorporate the Greek Lord angle. Here are some ideas:

1. Lord Irving
2. Lord Nasty
3. Lord Slick
4. Dionysus
5. Kyrie Eleison (this is pronounced KEE-ree uh-LAY-zon)

I think I like the last one the best, particularly because it's also in the lyrics of a Mr. Mister #1 hit from 1985 called "Kyrie." The chorus is INSPIRING:

Kyrie Eleison
Down the road that I must travel!
Kyrie Eleison
Through the darkness of the night!
Kyrie Eleison
Where I'm going will you follow!
Kyrie Eleison
On a highway in the light!
(Exclamation points all mine.)

And yes, my friends, there is a YouTube. It's actually kind of an awesome tune, even though the first minute is slow. Also, lots of 80s haircuts. Also, an emotional shot of four dudes skipping stones at a beach.


I think we can all agree that this should be his theme song, but let me know how you feel about the nicknames.

Also, that shitty Lowe's joke above opened my brain to a couple nicknames for Mason Plumlee and Ryan Kelly: Sawdust & Splinters. Why? 'Cause they're always around the boards! I'm open to Singler taking Kelly's place in this one, but I'm 100% committed to 'Sawdust' for Mason.

This has been a super substantive blog post so far. First I introduced the world's most basic pick 'em game, speculated about a hypothetical match-up that's 4 months away, listed some undefeated teams, then talked nicknames for like 8 paragraphs. SCSD: serving nobody's needs.

So, how about Bradley? What do we know? One thing I realized a while ago is that there aren't many famous people named Bradley or Brad. Yeah, the one obvious exception is Brad Pitt. And he's fairly famous. I get it. But really, try to think of another famous person with that name. Do it.

Here's what my brain produced:

Bradley Cooper
Brad Stevens

And the last one isn't even famous. Here's what Wikipedia came up with:

* Bradley Ayers (born 1935), CIA operative
* Brad Hogg (born 1970), Australian cricket player
* Bradley Hore (born 1981), Australian flyweight boxer
* Bradley James (born 1984), British actor
* Bradley Manning alleged whistleblower / leaker of video in Wikileaks' Collateral murder
* Bradley McGee (born 1976), former Australian professional cyclist (road and track)
* Bradley McIntosh (born 1981), member of S Club 7
* Bradley Nowell (1968 – 1996), American musician
* Bradley Quinn (born 1976), Northern Irish photographer
* Bradley Wiggins (born 1980), British professional cyclist (road and track)

I think we can all agree that we've never heard of these people. Except for Bradley Quinn, who takes absolutely stunning Northern Irish photos like this one:


Gorgeous. That's all the analysis I have on Bradley, except for this tidbit: they don't have anyone named Bradley on their roster. But they do have guys named "Dodie Dudson" and "Walt Lemon." Those are names we can all enjoy.. Don't forget the Hot Potato, and I will see you tomorrow.

Hey, it's a Tuesday Smorgasboard

Good morning, my beautiful children of the Internet. I hope you find your computer warm and accommodating today. Let's start slow, because I have no idea where this is going.

-Kyrie Irving is in a walking boot. He sprained his toe against Butler, and though he won't be 100% for tomorrow's game, he'll still probably play. Oops, update: now he may not play, and people are saying things like "I hope it's not serious." Personally, I'm going to pretend this isn't happening for now. Are we all okay with that? (Thanks slash no thanks to Wicked Jill for the link.)

-Kyrie Irving won this third straight ACC Rookie of the Week Award. That's going to be one hard as hell award for anyone else to win this season. They should just name it after Kyrie. It's sort of like trying to win the "Biggest Asshole in Germany Award" while Hitler was alive. The Fuhrer had it locked up, much to Goebbels' chagrin. (Interestingly, Lebron James won the award last year, and he's never even been to Germany.)

-I believe it's time for a new segment called:

OLD PEOPLE LAUGHING AT A RICK REILLY COLUMN
Take it away with your latest hit, Rick!

"You have everything you need to take your kid to an NFL game this Sunday? Program? Binoculars? Nunchucks?

Actually, if I were you, I wouldn't take my kid. I'd take Manny Pacquiao. NFL stadiums are rougher than sandpaper thongs lately.

These days, NFL fans make NHL fans look like Miss Manners. They're often buy-a-vowel drunk, spewing cuss words and looking to fight. And the men are sometimes worse."

"I wouldn't take anybody not built like a side-by-side freezer to an NFL game now. With insane popularity comes inane people, and we're not just talking about Pittsburgh's James Harrison. All the NFL is missing is crowds chanting, "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

"How about telling the networks to stop showcasing single-brain-celled fans like Fireman Ed and Can't Feel My Face Shirtless Buffalo Guy, dolts who give the impression that this game is slightly more important than their next breath?

Until then, leave the kids home. Let them do something safe and happy and nonviolent.

Like Halo 3."

Those last old people have their daughter show them the new Rick Reilly column every week. Old people are so delighted with Rick Reilly.*

*I apologize if any actual old people read this blog. Please make yourself known. I'm the kind of young feller who actually likes listening to old people stories. Anyone reading this blog above the age of 65 will earn special VIP status. Alternatively, I would love to see fake old people comments that explore common old people stereotypes, such as their difficulties with the bathroom.

-In the realm of crotchety old people, Bill Belichick went all Bill Belichick on the New York Jets last night. And you know what? It was kind of awesome. I know, I know, I'm being sacrilegious. But after reading Halberstam's book, I appreciate that crazy old coot a little more. And after all these years, there's still nothing quite like a Patriots beat-down. It's more vicious and sudden, more mean-spirited, more like a snakebite than anything else in sports. You could tell the whole team was pissed at the Jets for having won the first encounter, and they were out for blood. Brady was still going apeshit when the Pats went up 45-3 in the third. And that offense...really fun. Tons of fun. I hate to get premature, but my guess is the Patriots will be very tough to beat in this year's playoffs.

-I mentioned Halberstam, so let's go with that. Last night I stayed up til about 4am because I couldn't sleep and because I couldn't put this book down. It's all about Michael Jordan, and let me tell you, that was one insane dude. There are so many amazing stories in here, and most of them revolve around his ridiculous competitive streak. One of my favorites is when he played against Phoenix in the 1993 NBA Finals. It was his third championship, and by then his hatred for Bulls GM Jerry Krause was sky-high. Krause always made a point of complimenting Dan Majerle enthusiastically, and it got on Jordan's nerves. Majerle did nothing to him, but a hatred had begun to form. Here's how Halberstam describes the end of that series:

"Michael Jordan, his teammates believed, always took his game up an extra notch if Thunder Dan Majerle was on the court. It was, thought Lionel Hollins, a Phoenix assistant coach at the time, a man who knew very little about the tensions between Krause and Jordan, as if Michael Jordan had some kind of personal feud with Dan Majerle that series. Every time he got the ball he seemed determined to drive my Majerle, as if to show he couldn't guard him. It was like a vendetta that transcended the game, Hollins thought.

After Game Six of the Finals, as Paxson's shot went through the net, Michael Jordan raced to the basket to get the ball. He held it up high above his head, and his teammates thought he was going to say something about a prospective trip to Disneyland. Instead, he yelled out, "Thunder Dan Majerle- my fucking ass!"

What the hell, here's another:

"Once, during the 1989 preseason camp, a would-be rookie named Matt Brust tried to challenge Jordan. Brust was a big, tough kid from Saint John's, about six foot five and 220 pounds, a physical player. He had been throwing his weight around in camp for several days, trying to make an impression, if not with his talent then with his physicality. On one play, Jordan drove to the basket, and Brust gave him a hard body shot and knocked him down. Jordan picked himself up without a word, without even glaring at Brust. But a few players later, he drove on Brust; he had the ball in his right hand, and Brust was coming at him from the right. At the last second, Michael switched the ball to his left hand and gave Brust a ferocious shot to the head with his right elbow, knocking the man unconscious. Brust just lay there for a few minutes, his training camp over."

That's just a taste of the insanity. It's great stuff.

-HUGE night in college basketball, with Memphis visiting Kansas at 7 and then Michigan State and Syracuse at 9. All teams in the top 15.

-Last year, I ran a college football bowl pool. Here's how it worked: you pick the winner of every bowl game, and you assign each a "confidence number" from 1-33. So if you're most confident about TCU beating Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl, for instance, you'd make that game your #33. If it works out, you get 33 points. Every game gets a number, and no number is repeated. Pretty basic, and it ended up being a lot of fun next year. The winner took home 200 bucks. This year it's going to be more popular, so that prize money should be around 300 or higher. If you're interested in joining, drop me an e-mail at the address listed over to the left there. It's a difficult and fun pool, and it keeps even the crappy games interesting. Last year, my aunt flipped a coin to decide each game, and she beat a person who picked the favorite in every single game and did his priority based on the point spread.

-Not a bad line-up for bowls this year. I'm a little disappointed we didn't get the sweet Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl game, but the only real dud among the big ones is UConn-Oklahoma. And since there will always be two duddish teams among the BCS choices, I'm glad they put them both in the same game this time. The best non-BCS game is Alabama-Michigan State, and South Carolina-Florida State and LSU-Texas A&M should be pretty sweet too.

-If you're interested in such things, my latest Hillside article is now up on ReeseNews. Unlike the last four games, this was one wasn't a blow-out. But who won?!

-That's it for today. Things are tightening up here in old grad school, and I need to put my nose to the grindstone. Translation: time to wander around the apartment dreaming up ways to procrastinate. Tomorrow, it's BRADLEY TIME!

The Undefeated Proclamation

You knew it was coming. You had to know. We just ended a very tough 8-game stretch with an awful lot of travel and some good and maybe great opponents. We faced two top-10 teams and a Big East school in Marquette that will probably be ranked by season's end. A few of the games were difficult, but none came down to the wire. In the worst game, against Marquette on a neutral floor, they managed to outscore the Devils 46-42 in the second half by virtue of some late bombs. In every other game, the second half belonged to Duke.

A look at the schedule shows that there are no more ranked teams left to face. Yes, UNC might crawl back into the top-25 with their win over Kentucky. And Temple, who comes to Cameron in late February, was ranked last week. But otherwise? Slim pickings. The ACC in particular seems to be a severely underachieving group.

That being said, nothing comes easy. As always, each ACC road game will feature a frenzied crowd waiting for their chance to charge the court. And if Duke does maintain the undefeated streak into late January and early February, the attention will add a level of stress. No team has gone undefeated and won a national title since Indiana in 1976, and no team boasts an unblemished regular season since St. Joseph's in 2004. The last team to do it from a major conference was UNLV in 1991 (lost to Duke in the Final Four), and before that you have to go back to Larry Bird's Indiana State team in 1979.

Still, Duke's unique combination of talent, winning experience, and senior leadership makes them a prime candidate. The Butler game was a measure of how difficult they are to handle even on a bad shooting night. They hit only 8 of 26 from 3, and they conceded 10 offensive rebounds to Butler. Even so, they wore down a strong defensive team and scored 49 in the second half to run away with the win. So, without any further ado, it's time to say the unsayable:

THE 2010-11 UNDEFEATED PROCLAMATION

On THIS day, the 6th of December, as we bask in the heavenly sign of Sagittarius, I do hereby proclaim with heart unsullied and faith unhindered, mired not in the muddy earth of doubt and equivocation, a prognostication of such resounding clarity that it shall be known as truth upon its very utterance: the Duke University men's basketball team, those blue-shod boys fighting under the sobriquet rouge 'Devils,' shall not be made impure by the heinous stench of loss in this, their 2010-11 campaign. To the contrary, they shall finish the season basking in the flawless sunlight of the most refined and blissful kingdom e'er created by sporting deity. They shall reside in the rarefied realm of the undefeated.

It is written.

Okay, so now that we're telling truths, I'd like to alert the national media and the country at large to something very important:

Gordon Hayward of Butler missed the half court shot that would have beaten Duke in last year's title game.

Seriously. He missed it.

That particular incident in time is now over.

I get that it was a great game. I get it. I get that his shot came pretty close. But the amount of over-analyzing and re-watching and what-iffing has got to stop. ESPN ran a segment before Saturday's game where they had some math guy look at the shot and determine that if Hayward had shot 3 inches to the left or .5 mph slower, it would have gone in. Great. Wonderful. Didn't happen.

You know what else might have happened if he got to take the half court shot again? It might have been far the fuck off. You know why that might have happened? Because it's a half court shot. Good Lord, you'd think he missed a lay-up.

Trivia for the college basketball media machine: who is the all-time NCAA leader in half court shooting percentage?

Answer: Stats don't exist, because nobody takes those shots on a regular basis. Why? BECAUSE THEY'RE SO FUCKING HARD.

That being said, though, I can't resist getting on board with the speculation. Here are 10 other things that could have happened at the end of the Duke-Butler game, if things were just a little different.

1. If the basketball hoop was a gigantic 20 foot by 20 foot square, rather than a small cylinder, Hayward's shot would have gone in. A lot of other shots would have gone in too, though, and a close examination of the film determines that the score would have been 320-314, Duke.

2. If Gordon Hayward had neglected to shoot the ball, and instead slammed it hard into his own testicles, he would have collapsed in pain on the court. Duke would still have won, but the celebration would have been weird.

3. If the basketball Gordon Hayward was actually a watermelon, it would have fallen fifteen feet short and splattered near the foul line. Coach K would have immediately left the bench to dive face first into the carnage, gleefully spreading red watermelon juice all over his hair, face, and chest.

4. If Gordon Hayward had punted the ball, Nolan Smith would have had the opportunity to call a fair catch near the base line.

5. If the game was paint ball instead of basketball, Hayward would have been very vulnerable in the moment right after he shot. He stared at his shot too long without any attempt at diversion, and failed to take cover after the miss. If you look at the footage, Scheyer was in perfect position to take him out for a good 15-20 seconds. Splat-splat-splat. Game over. Duke still wins.

6. If Nolan Smith owned stilts and goaltending wasn't a rule, he would have set up in front of the basket while Zoubek was taking his foul shots, and he could have easily blocked Hayward's shot. Also, stilts would have to be legal.

7. If coaches each had one "no-makey" token, when they could disallow one basket per game made by the other team, I mean...there's no telling what would have happened. RIGHT?!

8. If Gordon Hayward was an East German female swimmer from the year 1984, they would have discovered that constant injections of testosterone had given him many masculine characteristics, including excessive facial hair, and made him ineligible to compete in the Olympics.

9. If the Duke-Butler championship game was a tragic opera, Hayward's shot would have gone in slow motion, and he would have had sung a beautiful aria as he watched its trajectory, and he and Scheyer both would have drawn their knives, and when it missed, Hayward would have bared his chest and Scheyer would have honorably murdered him near half court.

10. If the refs had called the vicious foul committed by Matt Howard on Singler just before the shot (11-second mark), it would have been disallowed anyway.

That last one? Poignant.

Moving on: let's give some credit to Butler. They played an incredibly tough game on Saturday. Yes, they benefited from a poor first-half shooting performance. But their defense deserves a little credit, and so does coach Brad Stevens. He signed a 12-year contract extension after last year's title game, but if I were any struggling school, or any struggling big program in the whole country (Michigan, anyone?), I would have broken the bank for this guy. I think he's the best coach in the game now, and it's beyond debate that he's the best young coach. He's going to have a long and brilliant career, and it amazes me that nobody threw any money at this guy.

So Duke made it through the difficult opening stretch without a loss, and now our schedule gets easy until January 2nd. Bradley, St. Louis, Elon, and UNC-G are all visiting Cameron, and there'll be plenty of time to rest between games. After that, the ACC schedule begins. December gives Coach K a chance to tinker with the team's mechanics risk free. Let's take a quick look at some of the issues he'll be trying to resolve between now and then.

1. The interplay between guards. The second half against Butler is probably the best Nolan and Kyrie have looked together all year. Still, there are times when Duke's offense seems to be a one-or-the-other proposition. In addition, Singler was more or less shut down against MSU and Butler. With the best point guard in the nation running the show, there should never be a point when he and Nolan (and Dawkins) aren't getting open shots. They look brilliant at times, but often they seem to exist on an island. This is an element of the offense that should improve as the season goes along, and the groundwork can be put in place throughout December.

2. Seth Curry. In the important games, he's been limited to around 10 minutes of playing time. It seems like he hasn't quite made the transition from Liberty, where he was able to function as a one-on-one player with a nose for scoring. At Duke, he has to play within the system, and apparently all of last year's practices haven't caught him up to game speed. The contrast between he and Dawkins, who I can't praise enough, is pretty stark at this point in the season. But Coach K will want another functioning guard when he wants to go small, and he'll want that guard to play closer to 15 minutes per game. Maybe more, if possible. The learning curve is steep, but if Seth doesn't earn that trust in the next month, before the tougher ACC schedule begins, he'll have trouble being anything other than a bit player.

3. Miles Plumlee. Let's be frank: the start to this season has been a complete disaster for Miles. In some ways, he's facing the same issues as Seth Curry. A poor showing early limited his minutes against tough opponents, and then he felt like he had to earn his time back in limited minutes. So he pressed himself when he was in the game, committing dumb fouls and letting the pressure affect him on offense, and his minutes were reduced even more. The vicious cycle has further subtracted from his playing time, and now he's on the outside looking in. But unlike Curry, who can be a strong scorer and has a chance to find his niche within the team, Miles seems feckless and discouraged. Watching him play, it's hard to imagine that he can ever be effective for Duke. The skill set is just totally missing. On either end, really. But we're a weak interior team, and if there's any quality to be found in that graceless white body, Coach K will have to bring it out soon.

And now the positives, in order of awesomeness: Kyrie Irving being himself, Dawkins' improvement, Nolan's consistency, Singler's toughness, and Coach K approaching Dean Smith, slowly but surely.

That's it for Monday. Be good, be safe, be happy. And tell me how much you would like to punch this segment, if it was possible to punch segments (any progress, science?):

Friday Pick Six: Volume Two, Week Five

Happy Friday. Let's fire the small guns first:

1) I brought this up on Facebook yesterday: why is it that people who update their status message with inane crap every four seconds always have like 15 people responding? It's like a social circle of enablers. I keep expecting that extreme over-posting behavior will be curbed by the culprit's friends getting annoyed; I keep expecting the foaming well of affirmative comments and 'likes' to run dry. But it doesn't happen. Shouldn't we be conditioning these people to shut up by virtue of a cold, puritan silence? What's happening here, guys and gals? I'm serious: if anyone can explain this phenomenon, I am all ears.

2) Look, I'm getting old. Most of y'all reading this blog are grown-ups too. None of us are starry-eyed kids anymore. We know that the world can be a pretty unfair place sometimes, and maybe that even makes us a little cynical. It's only human; we have to keep our guard. We might get hurt. But sometimes, in special moments, it's possible to open ourselves to beauty and let the magic shine in. Sometimes, the good guy wins.

It's almost the holiday season, and I'd like to warm your hearts by recognizing a wonderfully positive event in the sports universe.

Last night, Lebron James and the Miami Heat embarrassed the Cleveland Cavaliers on their home floor.

We are all witnesses. Happy Holidays.

3) Seriously, though, I was kind of excited to watch the drama unfold yesterday. Then there were 7 minutes left in the first quarter, and I realized I had nearly stopped breathing from boredom. This keeps happening to me with the NBA.

4) My 100th Twitter follower is: Arjun Chandran! Congratulations Arjun. Here is your name, on the Internet! What a special time for you!

Also, I'm pretty sure Arjun was like my 96th follower, de-friended me yesterday when I said the 100th follower would be get to be on the blog, waited for the numbers to reach 99, and then re-friended me to be the 100th. I have to admire that kind of chutzpah. Arjun, please comment and tell us how you feel.

5) I've been covering Durham's Hillside High as they go for the 4-A state championship in North Carolina. Their QB, Vad Lee, is headed to Georgia Tech next year. The fourth installment, from the state quarterfinals, is now up. Check 'er out here if that's your thing. I think it's the best one yet, though some of the commenters on the story accuse me of either giving away Hillside's plays or being racist. Lots of fun.

Time is a'wasting, SON. Let's get to it:


THE FRIDAY PICK SIX


VOLUME TWO, WEEK FIVE


The Friday Pick Six is an original SCSD! game where six people make six predictions for six weeks. Along with their picks, they're allowed and encouraged to submit a 'sound-off' on any topic, sports or otherwise. When it's all done, the winner earns great honor among the people, while the two losers are exiled in shame and the three middle finishers go to purgatory, with the chance rescue their good name up to three times. To learn more about the rules, and about the current contestants, read below:

-The inaugural champ and intros to the New Class
-Week One
-Week Two
-Week Three
-Week Four

THE HALL OF ANGELS: OLD CHAMPIONS

1. Tom.

Here's how Volume Two looks:

Creatures in Purgatory: Jill, Carrie, Spike
Newcomers: Swetha & Sabreena, Nick E., Mike L.

Standings after Week Four

1. Nick: 18.5
2. S&S: 18.5
3. Mike: 18.5
4. Carrie: 18.5
5. Spike: 18.0
6. Jill: 16.5

In case you didn't notice, that is a FOUR-WAY TIE. Last week, Carrie set a Pick Six record with 12 points. After kvetching about the math, she put her nose to the grindstone, got out her calculator, and dusted the competition. From the basement to first she went, a journey nobody thought was possible. Nick wasn't far behind, scoring 11 to go from fifth to first. Moving Week lived up to its reputation, my friends, oh yes it did. Those near the top didn't score nearly as well, and thus it's a cluttered leaderboard. Even Jill, sitting in dead last, is only two points out. And things are about to get crazier.

Let us not forget:

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES!

Sponsored by:

Bill O'Reilly! O'Reilly is a political pundit for FoxNews, and he'll be providing commentary and analysis of the boys against girls clash in Pick 6. This week's standings:

Boys: 55
Girls: 53.5

O'Reilly: "Hey, look...do I think there's anything wrong with women? No! Of course not, that's absurd! Am I surprised that they're losing an athletic contest to a group of guys? No. No. I'm not. I'm always going to be honest with you guys, you know that, and I'm just not surprised at this. I'm not a stupid guy, okay? I've seen sports before. I think it's great that women play sports. I'm not going to sit here and say that Title IX was a bad thing. I don't know what it was, but it happened, okay, and now it's in the books. But I've watched these sports, I've seen how it goes, and frankly, women are weighed down by...well, let's say certain assets. They're not as physically fast! Folks, I'm not saying anything science won't back me up on. You can look it up. These are hard facts. Do you think someone like Rebecca Lobo could beat Lebron James one-on-one? Come on.

So, okay, we know their breasts are a huge impediment, so why should this be any different for predictions? I don't see a good reason. I just don't. I really just don't. I just don't. Look, I wish women the best. I've had relationships with women before. Hell, I would love if they could keep up. But you're seeing it from the numbers, folks. The guys are winning. I have a lot of sympathy for women, but I don't think they should be predicting sports. And the numbers are bearing that out.

But I'll give you the last word."

Thanks Bill! Here's the docket, my friends, with the first 6 from our old pal and Montana partisan Jim, and the Temptress from me:

1. MNF: Jets v Patriots, I don't know if you heard but the Jets are calling Tom Brady's hair shameful.

2. SEC Showdown: Auburn v South Carolina, can Newton pull off another great comeback.

3. NAIA College Football Rematch: Carrol College Fighting Saints v. Saint Xavier Cougars. This has been a classic NAIA playoff matchup! Can you imagine a Cougar beating a Saint in a bar fight? Look for another miracle!

4. Awesome college basketball Saturday : UNC V. Kentucky, can WonderRoy turn it around? Or will the fall helplessly to the wayside and forever become irrelevant in college basketball?

5. NCAA MEN'S SOCCER! UNC battles SMU to get in to the men's semis, do they have the chutzpah?

6. High school football, North Carolina: Hillside High School takes on New Bern High in Durham. This is the state semifinals. Both teams are 14-0, both earned regional #1 seeds, and they have no common opponents. This will be awesome.

THE TEMPTRESS!: The temptress is a bonus category. It is completely optional. You can choose to ignore the temptress, but there may be some for whom her siren song is too alluring. Here's how it works: this is the pick six, so you have the opportunity to win six points by picking six winners in the NFL. This can include the MNF game or not, it's up to you. If you pick all six winners correctly (straight up, no spread), you earn SIX bonus points and a huge advantage going into the final week. But like any good temptress, it can break your heart: one miss, and you lose 10 POINTS and are probably out of the running. Again, you have to be absolutely perfect in this category. BLESS YOU ALL.

We begin with Nick E., the thorn in Kim Jong-Il's side:

Nick E.

1. It goes against my better judgment, but I can't pick against my
beloved Jets. I'll take Rex and the Sanchise in a statement game. JETS

2. Cam Newton has been just amazing, putting up eight touchdowns in the last two games. I'll take AUBURN.

3. I was going to pick St. Xavier, because I've always liked both Professor X and Jesuits. Then I found out St. Xavier was founded by the Sisters of Mercy of the Americas. BOO! CARROLL

4. Prince Harry is shooting .338 on the YEAR. Not only that, but he continues to force up contested jump shots instead of working with his team. UNC as a team is shooting 198-429 (.461) and 33-91 (.363) from three. Take out HB and those numbers are 171-349 (.490) and 25-66 (.379) from three. You know, somewhat respectable. Just for kicks,
lets replace Prince Harry's line from UNC's last game and replace it with, oh I don't know, Kyrie Irving's last game.

UNC with HB: 27-58 (5-15 from three), 46.6 FG% and 67 points
Bizarro UNC with KI: 33-61 ( 6-14 from three), 54.1 FG% and 90 points

Just sayin'.... KENTUCKY

5. I don't know much about men's soccer, but there's no way I can root
for the Heels. SMU

6. This again? Who cares. HILLSIDE

There's no way I'm falling for the TEMPTRESS trap. It's incredibly hard to pick six games in a row in any sport, much less the Parity
Football League. Playin this one smart and sitting it out.


Swetha & Sabreena

Normally Sabreena does the picking and my role is to offer weak commentary and the occasional YouTube link. Well this week, I'm taking over. I'll warn you all, the only sport I actually watch is college basketball. The rest of my sports knowledge is limited to whatever I absorb subconsciously when I fall asleep in front the TV and accidentally leave Sportscenter on.

1. Patriots - Picking against them hasn't worked in the past, so trying something new here.

2. Auburn - I'm thinking that poor boy wants to make everyone stop talking about how his dad tried to pimp him out, so he'll play really well and lead Auburn to victory. Plus, Auburn's colors are pretty much the same as Syracuse, which is my second favorite college basketball team. Speaking of Syracuse, I bet Jim Boeheim wishes he could borrow Kyrie Irving for Tuesday's game against MSU. And how did this dunk not make top plays?

3. Fighting Saints - Like Bill Simmons' daughter, I love purple. The Fighting Saints wear purple. That works.

4. Kentucky - If I could have it my way, the roof of the Dean Dome would cave in. But since there has to be a winner, I'll take Kentucky. The real category to pick for this game should have been number of Larry Drew's passes that go into the stands. I'll guess two.

5. UNC - It's men soccer. Am I supposed to care? Let's make fun of Carolina basketball some more. This category could have been how many airballs (free throws and jump hooks included) is John Henson going to shoot against Kentucky? I'm going to guess three.

6. Hillside - Apparently this Vad Lee kid is kind of good, so let's go with Hillside.


Mike

And now, the exciting conclusion to the joke I posted 2 weeks ago....

Two drums and a cymbal roll downhill ...RIMSHOT

1. People around Boston seem to like Brady. But I heard from my barber he wears hair extensions (true story). Hope they don't affect his throwing arm. PATRIOTS

2. I think Auburn will win. They are playing for a shot at the title and are just the better team. But Spurrier once coached the Redskins AND Duke. USC

3. No idea what sport this is. Mother Teresa was a saint, but I wouldn't put money on her against a cougar. COUGARS

4. KENTUCKY. In depth sports analysis: FUCK UNC.

5. UNC. They are ridiculously good at soccer.

6. I'm not doing research on this. I pick the school that Shane gushes over. HILLSIDE

A temptress you say? Look at her sitting at the edge of the bar. She knows everyone is looking and she likes it that way. Her coyness cannot disguise the flutter of her eyelashes...but I heard this joke from Kyrie that said she had syphilis, so I am going to steer clear. Thanks Kyrie, you have done so much for me.


Carrie

1. This is a tough one for me. As you may know, I have a long-standing (yet still inexplicable) crush on Bill Belichick. But recently, I have been delighted by the jumping side bumps that Rex Ryan shares with his players. I love a comeback and it seems like the Jets are incapable of just coming out early and taking a convincing lead, which for a casual fan makes for very exciting last few minutes. (I feel like for the more devoted fans, this makes for potential heart failure.) I need Tom Brady to wash his hair, but even I can't blame his team for that. Ultimately, I think the Patriots aren't going to lose this game at Foxboro*.

*I always want to say Foxwoods. Which? I feel like Rex Ryan is probably a gambling man but I bet Bill Bellichick doesn't fuck around with luck. Hey! Both coaches have alliterative names. That's FUN.

2. I know it was a real crowd-pleaser the first time around, but I don't need to tell my Auburn, CA story again, do I?

3. Upon first reading of this category, I wrote back to Shane to have him clarify what sport we were talking here*. Mid-email, I realized that it actually didn't matter at all. My preferred picking style is equal opportunist for all sports. In the heirarchy of great mascot-ery, oxymoronic mascots are like a whole higher echelon of awesome. So, obviously, I have to go with The Fighting Saints. Also? How cool is that the Fighting Saints are playing a team from Saint Xavier college? Super cool, is all I'm saying.

*Just in case you were wondering, it's football.

4. I'm still pretty ticked that my recent suggestion to call Kim Jong Il's SCSD! spinoff blog "Il Communication" caused doubt as to its pop cultural relevance and ultimately was not adopted, so part of me wants to root for UNC here. But, I've always thought Kentucky was nice and still somewhat underrated. I mean the state itself, but the distinction between state and college is inconsequential to me. I'll mis-over-generalize all over the place. I will also hyphenate all over the place. As is my wont.

5. That said, I'm taking UNC for this one. This won't be a popular opinion on this particular blog, but I like the Tarheels' shade of blue.

6. I feel a little bit like a conditioned rat here, but aren't we all rooting for Hillside at this point?

THE TEMPTRESS!:
I'm doing it, guys! I am fighting every cowardly bone in my body (which is every bone in my body) to be brave and risk it all. I wouldn't say I am tempted so much as I would chalk it up to more of like a desperate hail mary. I usually get very nervous about my NFL picks from week-to-week, but surprisingly bulked like this six at a time, I felt less pressure. Distributive Property of... something. So, here goes nothing:
New Orleans over Cincinnati, Chicago over Detroit, Indianapolis over Dallas, Kansas City over Denver, Green Bay over San Francisco, Seattle (swoon, Pete Carroll) over Carolina.

(Editor's Note: The entire Pick-6 world just stood up and cheered as one.)


Spike

Pats

Auburn

THE FIGHTIN SAINTS!

UNC
UNC

Hillside

PASS

(Editor's Note: Great work, Spike. I didn't think you could top last week.)


Jill

Jets v Patriots: Patriots. This could be the game of the year, with first place in the AFC East at stake. We have Baywatch vs. Justin Bieber’s father, a rivalry and revenge match, and most importantly – especially with extra time to prepare – Darth Sidius vs. Sexy Rexy. The Evil Genius will have the Pats ready for this one and playing at Foxboro doesn’t hurt.

Auburn v. South Carolina: Auburn. I do not believe that Cam Newton was clueless in any or all of his scandals; however, now that he has been cleared to play, I have no doubt that he will continue to dominate. The Tigers are a bit vulnerable defensively, but the Cocks are not much better. And as much as it pains me to admit, Newton is a special cheater player who can carry his entire team.

Those Random NAIA Teams: Carroll. It bothers me that the “Fighting Saints” seems like an oxymoron, while “SXU” seems like a porn channel or erotic radio station, which I fully support. Saint Xavier has a crazygood offense that averages 51 points per game, but Carroll is a really strong team with no obvious flaws. To win, SXU needs their run game to be explosive and I don’t see it happening. [Sidenote: I just realized that the Fighting Saints’ mascot is actually a dog. A dog that gave an interview. I am so confused].

University of Harrison Barnes vs. Kentucky: Kentucky. Roy Williams is a whiny bitch and I hope UNC loses every game they play. Fortunately, the Preseason All-American frosh continues to wet the bed. Do I think he will have a breakout game? Yes, I do. But not this one. UNC has looked clueless lately. No passion, no leader, no free throw ability, and way too many turnovers. I bet having a .500 record will be a lot of fun, though. Good luck with that.

UNC vs. SMU: UNC. UNC is seeded #4, SMU is seeded #5, but UNC is simply a better team. They have not played well lately (they have only scored one goal this postseason, beating Georgetown and MSU in penalty kicks). That said, it is not like SMU is an offensive juggernaut, or for that matter, a defensive one (ranked 91st in scoring defense).

Hillside vs. New Bern: Hillside. Yeah, I have no idea why we are still discussing high school football. When I was in North Cackalacky, my softball team played New Bern every year; they always sucked and the 3-hour drive from Wilmington was pretty much heinous. Besides my lingering grudge, I lived in Durham for seven years, so my heart is with Hillside and the Vad. I also support Shane’s continuing quest for fame and glory, and hope he gets to write several more articles/novels on a topic 14 people follow. (Editor's Note: Q: What's wrong with extreme lawyer jokes? A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.)

The Temptress: Abstain. I know that I am a hypocrite for abstaining from this (especially because I am losing. To everyone. I don’t want to talk about it). But I am only 2 points behind, there is still a week left, and I am not yet ready to concede total failure. 10 points is a lot. Just for kicks, I would pick: Seattle, New Orleans, Green Bay, Kansas City, New York Giants, and San Diego. Selfishly, I really hope that one of the above-mentioned loses so I don’t want to light myself on fire.

********************
That's it! Props again to Carrie for trying to woo the Temptress. It takes a brave lady, and I hope you bed that coy sprite. For fun, here are my Temptress picks: Saints, Bears, Dolphins, Vikings, Chargers, Seahawks. Feel to make yours below, and I'll write a haiku for you on Monday if you're right.

I'm going to try to write a little something about Duke-Butler tomorrow morning. Have a great weekend, and don't look this awful man in the eye:

Kyrie and the Grinding W

Michigan State is tough. For real, hats off. From what I heard around the Duke fan camp leading up to the game, the expectation was that we'd win by about 15. In hindsight, that was probably a foolish prediction. But didn't it seem like we maybe should have won by that margin? It was one of those games where we constantly teetered on the brink of opening up a big lead, and then Sparty would hit a few big shots and climb back to within 6-8 points. Then they got absurdly hot at the end to bring it down to 5, but I don't think anyone believes the final score was representative.

Still, we learned a few things that aren't glaringly positive:

1) Teams with big, tough dudes will out-rebound us. The margin last night was 35-30 in favor the Spartans. They've have the potential to do a ton of damage on the offensive glass in particular. On Duke's defensive end, the Devils' final edge was only 19-15. In other words, the bad guys had a 44% chance of grabbing any board on their offensive end,* compared to 35% for Duke on their offensive end. MSU showed that in some ways our big men are pushovers. Mason Plumlee ended with respectable stats, but it seemed like Green and Roe and Sherman were pushing him out of the way far too often. How many times did we see our bigs almost directly under the basket, completely out of position for a rebound with any kind of bounce-back?

*And that's not even counting the number of times our big men, particularly Mason, couldn't hold on to a rebound, had it poked away, and lost the loose ball to the scrappy Spartans.

2) By the same token, our inside defense is poor. Sherman absolutely destroyed Mason a couple times, and Green basically had his way underneath. And after Mason, the defensive talent underneath doesn't get better.

3) Kyle Singler, for all his greatness, is slow. I almost feel bad writing that, because he's done so much for the team and has so much left to do, and I honest-to-God think he's a great human and a great Dukie. He crashes the boards hard, he's the clutchiest of clutch shooters, and he plays with maximum effort at all times. But those who build him up as a dynamic offensive threat are a little off base. Last night, it seemed like he had one move- the lean forward, step back jumper. And it wasn't effective. When he tried to drive, he had to use his whole body since the defender would inevitably be faster. What I'm saying is that despite his intelligence and excellence under pressure, it's still possible for Singler to be taken out of the game's flow. He's not a POTY candidate, because he'll have too many games like yesterday where he scores 12-16 and is largely limited on offense. Also, he gets toasted on D when he's matched up on the perimeter with a guard.

4) Nolan Smith is still a little out-of-sync. As Irving said in this interview, the guards aren't quite on the same page offensively. Is it strange for he and Singler to suddenly be the 2nd and 3rd best players on the team? Despite their positive attitude and leadership, is it weird that a freshman has arrived and proved that he's on a different level? According to Nolan, no:

"He'll be like, 'Get out of the way, I've got it,'" Smith said. "You don't really hear that too often, when a freshman will tell two seniors on the wings to get out of the way. We have no problem letting him do it."

Kyrie is saying all the right things too, with his "this isn't my team" quote. But there were times when Singler seemed to be going past his limits, forcing shots that weren't necessary. And was it just me, or did he hold the ball unnecessarily near the end a few times, with teammates open, so he could get fouled and head to the line? I don't have a serious problem with that, just saying.

And here's an odd thing: last year, I would get annoyed near the end of games when Scheyer had the ball up top rather than Nolan. I felt the latter was better equipped to initiate offense from a standstill, which is what Coach K requires when he sends us into the stall. This year, Nolan's role is reversed. Whenever he's holding near the end of a game, I'm practically off the couch, shouting 'GIVE IT TO KYRIE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!'

5) Michigan State seemed to have zero qualms about fouling Mason Plumlee and sending him to the line. It worked for a while, but Mason hit two big ones near the end to finish 4-8. It's something to keep an eye on, though.

TRANSITION TIME: ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

As a fan, one of my big challenges this year will be fighting my own expectations. So let me get it down for posterity: this was a great win. And HOLLLLY HELL, howsabout this guy:

......
It's been a long time since I've seen a performance that dominating on the college level, especially from a point guard and especially in a game between two excellent teams. Maybe the last one I can remember is Ty Lawson against these same Spartans in the '09 championship (21 points, 4 boards, 6 dimes, 8 steals). The pace and style of play changes so drastically when he's involved. He is absolutely the most important part of our team, a fact shown by his 36 minutes of playing time. I don't think he sat the entire second half; Coach K knew we couldn't afford it.

After the game I called my stepfather and told him we would have lost the game without Kyrie. But he contended that it was impossible to say since we wouldn't have been playing the same style, a strong point confirmed by Coach K in this fun Kyrie-lovin' article by Dana O'Neil.

"I haven't coached him like a freshman; I've coached him like a really good basketball player," Krzyzewski said. "And that means you've got to let him make mistakes, which he's done, but you also have to let him have some freedom. He's really good and he deserves to have the freedom to follow his instincts. We're changing the way we play because of him."

His sheer talent is also reflected in the fact that I nearly shit myself when he twisted his ankle in the first half. It was like an awful premonition coming true; there will be odd times during the day, between assignments and work, when I'll have this random thought: "I hope Kyrie doesn't get hurt this year." Seriously, it crosses my mind. Last night I was terrified that he'd have a horrible fracture and be finished for the season.

Also in that article, there's more talk about how the seniors are encouraging Kyrie's emergence. That hypothetical area of potential controversy can probably be put to rest, but still, you have to wonder...emerging as a new piece of the triumvirate is one thing, but how will they deal with Kyrie being far and away the best piece? I trust Nolan and Kyle, but I'll be watching anxiously anyway.

I've gushed about Kyrie enough for like 4 full years by now, so I'll turn the floor over to Spike, who came up with this severely badass motto for Kyrie:

Spike: There's no I in team, but there's two in Irving... so he has the depth perception necessary to pass to other players and also judge the distance necessary to shoot the basketball into the basket.

BOOYAH

END SPIKE

Also, get this: Kyrie Irving was the #10 trending topic on twitter last night immediately after the game. That was pretty cool, but the really fascinating part is that when you looked closely, the other 9 trending topics were about Kyrie Irving too. BEHOLD:

#9 - Chabelo. This is apparently a Mexican actor who does some kind of children's morning show and has a statue in the "Garden of Great Values" in the Distrito Federal. FACT: Kyrie Irving was approached to do a children's show in Mexico when he graduated 8th grade. Recognizing talent, they offered him Chabelo's time slot. Kyrie nearly accepted, but negotiations halted when Mexican tv executives realized Kyrie's Spanish was too sophisticated to resonate well with the younger children.

#8 - World Aids. Kyrie Irving is on the record as saying that the one thing he'll never joke about is World Aids. Everything else is fair game, including syphilis. Kyrie Irving has some sick syphilis jokes.

#7 - Grinch. Kyrie Irving was director Ron Howard's first choice for the role of Mayor Augustus Maywho in his 2000 remake of the classic children's story. Irving declined, feeling he had to begin extending himself more in his roles, and the part eventually went to Jeffrey Tambor.

#6 - Nominations. Kyrie Irving has been nominated for 95% of all awards, including Soviet bureaucracy ones that became obsolete before he was born. He won Top Siberian Prison Warden in 1972, for example. The 5% he hasn't been nominated for are negative joke awards, like the Razzies.

#5 - Hanukkah. Kyrie Irving is on every list of great Jewish baseball players, usually mentioned after Hank Greenberg but before Sandy Koufax.

#4 - #Frasesquemarcaron - This is actually three Spanish words, frases que marcaron, or 'phrases that make history.' The top history-making phrase in the Spanish world was "my name is Kyrie Irving, and I'm coming to Duke." Number two? "Generalissimo Franco, tu eres nada mas que asesino!" Kyrie Irving, 1968.

#3 - #lilkimmustfeellike - It took me roughly 16 readings to decipher this: Lil Kim Must Feel Like. As in, 'damn, Lil Kim must feel like Kyrie Irving is the subject of every song she wrote, especially 'Queen Bitch.'

#2 - #2010disappointments - You guessed it: everyone but Kyrie Irving. And Anderson Cooper. Guys, he is amazing.

#1 - #share - This is some kind of thing where Starbucks pretends they aren't corporate villains and that they care about people. The poster for the PR campaign is Kyrie Irving dishing out an assist. Confusingly, the other side of the poster shows him draped in an American flag, greedily eating a turkey leg while a hungry family from eastern Europe looks on in sadness.

Hey, speaking of twitter, I now have an obscene amount of followers: 98. I'm pretty sure I'm close to breaking the all-time record held by Janeane Garofalo. If you act now, you might become the 100th follower and I'll mention you on the blog with great fanfare. I also plan to start 'tweeting' more. I've spent far too much time away from the computer lately; it's unhealthy.

A few more positives and neutrals from the game that don't involve Kyrie Irving:

1) Despite looking a bit listless and out of place at times, both Smith and Singler stepped up in a big way at crucial points in the second half. Last year's experience gives us another edge on the competition, and we already have a lot of edges. Once the guards figure out the best way to get open looks when teams double or sink on Kyrie, the danger factor will be sky-high.

2) Young Threezy, aka Baby Dawk, hit a couple huge treys. Speaking of him, we learned a lot from last night about this team's rotation in the big games. Here were the minutes for everyone:

Singler - 39
Irving - 36
Plumdog the Better - 35
Smith - 30
Dawkins - 28
Kelly - 17
Plumblebum the Worser - 8
Seth Curry - 7

Conclusions: the preferred lineup is the 4-guard set, with Irving-Nolan-Dawkins-Singler-Plumlee. This despite the fact that Dawkins starts on the bench. Seth Curry is the odd guard out, it would seem. Miles has utterly lost Coach K's faith. Kelly is slowly gaining more trust.

3) As I predicted, the ACC/Big-10 Challenge came down to the Purdue-Virginia Tech game, and Tech lost in OT. So huzzah for the Big 10, I guess.

Solid win. Tomorrow we're Pick 6'ing (there's a bonus category called 'The Temptress'), and Saturday I might post a little something before the Butler throwdown. Carry on you Devils.

Ladies and Gentlemen...THE ACC!

YEEE-IKES.

Hold on, hold on one second...

Here we go...


That's it. That's your official picture for 2010-11, ACC.

A dog puking in a toilet.

That doesn't include Duke, though. Let me revise that...

ACC 2010-11:

.....PLUS.....
If I reversed those images, it would look like Coach K was ordering the dog to puke in the toilet bowl. And while that might be more accurate...I'm just not ready for it.

Not yet.

Give me some time.

So. Down goes Carolina. Down goes Florida St. Down goes Clemson. Down goes Georgia Tech.

I watched bits and pieces of each game, and man, they all looked like crap. The one team that came through, Wake Forest, might have been the worst of all during their horrible first half. They needed an absolute bomb with 2 seconds left to win by 3 (though Terrell, who shot it, scored 32 and looked quite good). Clemson seems to have nothing, and the 8-point loss is actually a poor indication of how much Michigan dominated. Carolina simply has no point guard and will struggle to make the NCAAs again. FSU played an excellent defensive team, so I'll give them a pass for now, but I expected them to put up more of a fight at home.

And Georgia Tech? They gave up 91 points to Northwestern, the one team in America where the players look forward to being benched so they can play with their graphing calculators. You know how some coaches have instituted twitter bans? The Northwestern coach came this close to banning the cosine function. It was that bad.

(I'm so sorry for that joke.)

Seriously, though, I know Northwestern doesn't suck, but 91 points is a lot. Duke should score 200 on Tech easily. In the first half.

Let's take a look at the ACC/Big 10 Challenge. As of now, it's 4-2 bad guys, and it's a lot closer to being 6-0 than it is to being 3-3. Here's what he have left tonight:

1. Indiana at Boston College
2. N.C. State at Wisconsin
3. #18 Purdue at Virginia Tech
4. Maryland at Penn State
5. #6 Michigan State at #1 DUKE

We need to take four of those to win the challenge. Duke is a lock, of course, but not even one of the others seems to favor the ACC by that much. However, the good guys are Vegas favorites in four of the games, with Wisconsin-State as the only exception. I think the ACC wins two of three with BC, State, and Maryland. The key game will be #3, Purdue at Virginia Tech. Can Delaney and company show some pride in Hicksburg? I mean Blacksburg? (That one's for you, Saunders.) We shall see.

Ugh. I really hate this next part of the blog, guys. Before I get to Duke-Michigan State talk, I have a confession to make. A few weeks ago, the money situation was getting pretty dicey here on SCSD! The banks were sending a lot of letters, and I finally got my first foreclosure notice. I knew I needed some financial backing, but I would never ask you, the readers, for that kind of thing. So I looked for an independent wealthy donor.

Let me tell you, it was not easy going. I had a lot of conversations, but nobody saw the profit potential. I couldn't even beg ten bucks to keep the servers firing for another month. Only one man showed any interest. In fact, he kept sending letter after letter, and he even found my cell phone number. At first, I was totally against it. This wasn't a savory dude. But the harder things became, the more I realized that I could either accept his money or go down in flames. And let's face it, this blog is too important.

So I sold out. I'm sorry to say it, believe me. I sold out to one of the worst men on the planet: North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il.

Part of the deal is that he gets to say a few words now and again about Carolina basketball. I'm not sure how or why, but he's a really huge fan. You saw him the other day for the first time, and how he's back. As fair warning, he loves the word 'glorious,' writing in all caps, and making puns on his name. He also really, really seems to hate Duke. Again, I have no idea why. But here we go.

TALKIN' CAROLINA, with KIM JONG-HEEL


Glory for my best friends on the planet! AMERICA KNOWS FOR WHO I AM SPEAKING, AND IS NOT THOSE NEW JERSEY REPUBLICAN INFORMANTS WEARING CLOTH OF DARK BLUE! HAVE I SPOKEN TOO MUCH SUBTLE?! I MEAN DUKE! TO PRISON CAMPS WITH YOU! I WISH YOU ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF BEING CHASED BY HUNGRY DOGS! AND BELIEVE KIM JONG-IL, EVERY GLORIOUS DOG WE OWN IS HUNGRY! THEY PROUDLY SHOW EACH RIB!

I WISH FOR YOU TO SPEND ONLY ONE DAY IN MY COUNTRY DUKE FAN WHEN I WOULD PUT YOU TO SLAVERY AND WATCH YOU DIGEST ONE SLICE OF SODA BREAD IN MANY HOUR! THIS GLORIOUS RATION IS NORMAL, BUT FOR YOU I WOULD HAVE SPECIAL EYE! I HAVE ALREADY MADE TORTURE ON 3 MILLION PEOPLE SUSPECTED OF LOVING DUKE BASKETBALL! WITH YOU I WOULD HAVE SWEET SATISFACTION OF NOT MAKING IT UP FOR FUN!

PREPARE FOR THE HOUR OF JOKE. What are you calling the number of Duke freshmen changing a light bulb at once? YOU CALL IT ZERO FOR THEIR TRAITOR MOTHERS AND FATHERS HAVE BOUGHT AND PAID FOR GOOD HONEST SOUTHERN PEOPLE TO WORK WHILE THEIR FAT CHILDREN MAKE SLUMBER! THE MONEY OF THE GREAT SATAN POURS FROM YOUR POCKET! YOU ARE NOT THE TRUE SOUTH, DUKE! ADMIT IT TODAY OR FACE YOUR DEATH!

NOW FOR GOOD NEWS. GLORIOUS CAROLINA HAS DEFEATED ILLINOIS BY REVERSE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRIUMPH 67-79. JUST LIKE THE HONORED DAY I AM SHOOTING 18 ON A GOLF COURSE. GLORIOUS HARRISON BARNES, MANY GLORIES TO HIM, HAS GROWN VICTORIOUS OVER OPPOSITION WITH 8 MASCULINE POINTS. MIGHTY HARRISON IS THE PRINCE OF PYONGYANG AND SHALL LEAD US ALL TO THE SHINING SUN OF THE MAGICAL MOUNTAINS!

IN MY PANTS IS CONTAINED THE UNIVERSE LARGEST PENIS. IT IS AGREED BY EVERY SCIENTIST.

AFTER MUCH THINKING, I AWARD CAROLINA 17 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP AND MAKE ROY WILLIAMS COMMANDER OF TORTURE AND HATRED! I HAVE SUMMONED THE CURRENT COMMANDER OF TORTURE AND HATRED TO RECEIVE GLORIOUS EXECUTION.

MEMORY! WHEN ROY WILLIAMS LAST YEAR DICTATE THAT CAROLINA BASKETBALL WAS MANY WORSE THAN HAITI EARTHQUAKE? I BELIEVE HE WAS CORRECT.

LAST: TELL ME WHY THE DUKE FOOTBALL ARMY IS LIKE AN OPOSSUM. TOO LATE! BECAUSE IT PLAYS DEAD AT HOME AND IS MADE INTO MEAT ON THE ROAD! OH-HO-HO-HO! I HAVE TOLD THIS JOKE IN PYONGYANG AND MEN LAUGHED FOR 14 YEARS WITHOUT SLEEP! THIS IS NORTH KOREA HUMOR! WHEN THEY CEASED TO LAUGH, THEY RECEIVED GLORIOUS EXECUTION!


God, I'm really sorry guys. I didn't think he'd go as far as he did with some of that Haiti stuff.

Okay, so we've got Duke-Sparty at 9:30 tonight. I'm a lot less scared of these dudes since they lost to UConn and snuck by Washington, but their frontcourt defense will probably be the toughest we've faced yet. Still, call it hubris if you will, but I truly believe Kyrie Irving nullifies the defensive prowess of other guards. And our own defense just flips the script anyway; the Spartans are apparently prone to turnovers, and if they can't keep the ball we'll run them straight off the floor without even bothering to ask about their families. Their D won't matter if they're constantly playing catch-up. And lord knows Cameron will be rocking.

Anyway, enough pre-game analysis. We're going to learn even more about our team tonight and Saturday, and my gut tells me we'll like the results.

To get us all pumped up beyond reason, I now present a ridiculously awesome highlight video from last season. I'm pretty sure this was made by a gal named Lara Lee; at least that's what it says on the site I stole it from. Enjoy the goosebumps, and happy December.