Thursday, October 21, 2010

Grim LeRogue

(This is today's second post. In the tradition of blogs, the day's first post can be found directly below it.)

Remember Game 3, when everything to held up because someone ran on the field? Well, my friends, that was no ordinary fence hopper. That was:


When you think of a fan running onto a baseball field, you think of a drunk kid having a good time who made a poor decision. But LeRogue was not your run-of-the-mill frat kid displaying his courage and idiocy. As Fanhouse and others report, he was out for blood. Let's check out the article.

A fan who ran onto the field during Game 3 of the American League Championship Series was trying to confront Alex Rodriguez, according to multiple reports Tuesday night.

In the history of understated adjectives, "confront" wins the fucking Palme d'Or. Read on.

Grim LeRogue, a 33-year-old man from the Bronx, was charged with assault and interfering with a sporting event. The New York Daily News reported that LeRogue is undergoing a psychiatric evaluation at Bellevue Hospital following the incident.

Hmm, a psychiatric evaluation for running onto a field? It's a dumb thing to do, no doubt, but isn't that a bit much?

According to reports, LeRogue told police that he jumped onto the field with the intention to harm A-Rod because of Rodriguez's rumored romance with actress Cameron Diaz over the summer.

Oh okay, yeah.

The Daily News reported that police found a picture of Rodriguez tucked into LeRogue's pocket. Sources told the Daily News that A-Rod's face was crossed out on the picture and there was a drawing of a small gun pointed at his head along the words, "You gotta go, buddy."

LeRogue later told investigators that he was waiting for the Yankee third baseman to get a clutch hit so he could attack him in front of all the cameras, but that after six playoff games and multiple opportunities he felt it would be foolish to wait any longer.

The Daily News reported that LeRogue also told investigators he wanted to kill Bobby Brown because Osama Bin Laden has a crush on Brown's wife, Whitney Houston.

Come on, give the kid a break. We've all been there. We've all been young and starry-eyed. Then you grow up, start paying taxes, have kids, and suddenly you get a little less idealistic and realize that you can't kill every husband of every American pop star that Muslim terrorists have a crush on in your fucking insane imagination.

LeRogue, whose real name is John Rogan, reportedly changed his name as a strategy to sell a book he's trying to market.

Oddly enough, the book is "Tuesdays With Morrie" by Mitch Albom.

On his Facebook profile, LeRogue lists his job title as "future bestselling celebrity author and menace to evil" and his employer as God.

Do you think God's health insurance policy covers "Acts of Me"? (stifling a giggle, turning around and looking for someone to high five, realizing I'm alone, sighing deeply, wishing I had some ice cream sandwiches or something)

He claims to have attended graduate school at the "University of Thrown Out of Home" with studies in "alcohol" and "wandering evolution."

He also claims to have attended graduate school at the "University of Exposing Myself to Old Women Coming Home from Sunday Church in the Bronx" and received his Master's Degree in "deciding which bricks in certain buildings look like they might be Mel Gibson's mother" with a minor in "engineering."

A couple bonus bits from the Daily News story:

"He gave a rambling interview that he had an infatuation with Cameron Diaz," the source said. "He thought by going out and choking A-Rod he'd be a hero to her."

No joke: isn't it fucked up how many weirdos believe this kind of thing? Remember when Reagan was shot? Me either, but the guy who did it, John Hinckley Jr., was trying to gain national prominence so he could land Jodi Foster. Reagan, and all his policies, were a complete afterthought.

Joke: Ironically, LeRogue's attack was completely unnecessary, since A-Rod can choke all on his own.

"I think it's publicity for his book," said his mother, Catherine Rogan. "I'm sure he's fine," she said of his condition.

"Boys will be boys," she added. "Whenever he acted up as a kid, I'd just tie him up with nylon rope, keep him in a dark closet with a single light bulb swaying overhead, and threaten to put an iguana in there with him."

"He was absolutely out of his f-----g mind," said a source from the police department, adding that LeRogue was rambling the entire time he was in custody.

The source later apologized, saying he'd confused LeRogue with FOX announcer Tim McCarver, who he'd heard earlier during the Giants-Phillies broadcast. He described LeRogue as "pretty cool, actually, but a little weird about the whole Cameron Diaz thing."

Strange, strange stuff. You have to wonder how many drips of crazy LeRogue was from having a gun or knife or something. Also, they didn't show it on tv, but if went right from the stands to A-Rod, the cops did a pretty awesome job of subduing him fast. Well done, New York's finest. And well done A-Rod, for not dying. Well done all around.

But something tells me we haven't heard the last of Grim LeRogue.

No comments:

Post a Comment