Morning: Pitin-Oh-NO!

The big plan for today's post was to come in praising Rick Pitino. Believe me, I don't like the guy, but after the first half last night, I was impressed with Louisville's performance. They were up 9, and other than conceding some offensive boards, they seemed far superior to Cincinnati. My brilliant angle was going to be that even when Pitino isn't overloaded with talent, his teams inevitably have athleticism in spades and play ferocious D. More importantly, they peak in February and March while some other elite teams are fading with end-of-season fatigue. I was going to conclude by predicting that the Cardinals had an excellent shot (with the right draw) of making the Elite 8.

So I went to sleep at halftime, and then they lost. Oops! Those pesky offensive boards ended up becoming an Achilles heel, and Louisville managed only 25 points in the second half. This had to happen, of course, since I picked them to make the Big East title game. Murphy has his law for a reason, and that reason is pissing me off.


But STILL...STILL...still, I think this Louisville team is one you really don't want to see in your draw come tourney time. Their giant-killer credentials are twice proven with the Syracuse victories, so it's not like one loss to Cincy will faze them too much. They have great athletes, a guard (Edgar Sosa) who can get red-hot in a hurry, and an experienced coach who knows that 40 minutes of pressure defense can dismantle a lot of good teams in March. If the brackets come out on a Sunday and they're a 5-seed in Duke's region, I promise you I'll piss myself on the spot. (That's a promise.)

In cinderella news, Robert Morris and Montana both earned bids last night. Coincidentally, "Robert Morris and Montana" is the title of my latest screenplay. It's a comedy western starring Casey Affleck as an uptight outlaw named Robert Morris and his wacky, unreliable sidekick 'Montana,' played by Seth Rogen. If you want to get in on the ground floor by throwing me some seed money, drop me a line. At the end of the movie, Robert Morris gets so frustrated with Montana's antics that he shoots him in the heart, and then gets bit by a scorpion.

SERIOUSLY, THOUGH...read that Montana recap. They were down 22, and someone named Anthony Johnson scored 34 points in the second half (42 total), including the game-winning jumper with ten seconds left. Imagine being that guy today.

So, on to the present! Would it be hyperbole to say that today we'll be looking at the best quarterfinals of a conference tournament ever? I'm still speaking, of course, about the Big East. Of the eight teams playing, three are ranked in the top 10, five are ranked in the top 25, and seven are ranked in the top 32. The last team, Cincinnati, just beat the team ranked 34th to earn their spot in this elite crowd. I'm not going to do a lot of "research" to confirm or refute this argument, but it's gotta be close. Syracuse and Georgetown kick it off at noon. This definitely calls for a late lunch at a drinking establishment.

Time for another bracket prediction posting. This time, what the hell, let's do the SEC.


The formula was pretty simple here. First, the SEC West is terrible. They're definitely the worst division of a major conference in the entire country. They even trump the Pac-10 in futility. So I picked them all to be gone by the semis. Then, I took Tennessee over Kentucky since I think the Wildcats will start to show their inexperience, and I took Florida over Vandy because even though they went down to the Commodores twice this year, I think Donovan will have them ready to make a run, and Vandy ended the year on a sour note by losing at home to South Carolina. In the title game, I have Florida upsetting Tennesee on what will be the 4th straight game for both, and therefore kind of a crapshoot, where the Gators will be playing for more.

The dark horse team for this tournament is Georgia. They beat Tennessee, Florida, Alabama, and Vanderbilt this year, and almost just beat Vandy on the road (96-94 OT loss). Vandy will be their second round game if they beat Arkansas today, and that's a big time upset watch.

To conclude the morning post, a quick anecdote concerning Rick Pitino, as told to me by my modified basketball coach. Coach (we'll call him Doug) was a young man just out of college, working as a bus-boy in an upscale NYC restaurant. He also loved basketball, and was a HUGE Rick Pitino fan. One day, Pitino came in to eat with a group of three guys. This was sometime between '87 and '89, when he had already led Providence to a Final Four and was the head coach of the Knicks. Doug, an aspiring coach himself, went against restaurant rules and approached the table. "Coach," he said, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to say that I'm a big fan and I really admire everything you've done."

Pitino looked at him sideways, and didn't smile. "Where you from?" He spoke with a terse New York accent, and no hint of warmth.

"Saranac Lake, New York," said Doug.

"Never heard of it," said Pitino. He turned back to his table, and didn't say another word. Doug hurried back to the kitchen.

Pac-10 Genius Analysis

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I hope that looks a bit nicer than the other spreadsheets.

I've seen exactly one Pac-10 team play this year, and it was in person. That was back in November, and Cal was traveling to MSG to play Syracuse. At the time, the Bears were ranked 13th, and Syracuse was nowhere to be seen. Needless to say, the Orange kicked their ass 95-73. Since then, Cal has dropped totally from the rankings. But guess what? They're still #1 in their conference. From these facts you can deduce that the Pac-10 doesn't boast a single ranked team.

I learned from this link that when Cal first dropped out in January, it was the first time the Pac-10 had nobody in the top 25 since 1986. So in this year's conference tourney, pretty much anything could happen.

PAC-10 Hoops: Inspiring Generic Analysis Across the East Coast

Originally, I just said screw it and picked Oregon State to go all the way. Why? The Obama connection. Craig Robinson is the Beaver coach, and Michelle Obama is his sister. But with a lot of money at stake in my pool, that seemed dumb. Instead, I just looked at each team's last six games. Washington has won four in a row, including three on the road. They're also sort of on the bubble, I guess, so theoretically they'll be playing with urgency. And they beat Cal handily at home this year, so they're definitely capable of winning this thing.

IT'S HUSKIE TIME, BABY! Just don't ask me to name any of their players.

Halftime in the Big East...

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...and Georgetown is leading South Florida 31-19. With 6 minutes left in the half, USF had only scored 9. Unless they turn it around in a big way, it's probably a safe bet that the Big East will only get 8 in the field this year. Which will still be the most of any conference, but it looked they had an outside shot to break their own record, set in 2006 and tied in 2008.

On a different note, you may have noticed that this place is crawling with Terps lately. This one's for you, guys.

YOU BEEN HENDO'ED!

Pac-10 picks later.

Morning: The First Winds

Here on the Island of Seth Curry Saves Duke!, our palm trees are swaying lightly, blown by the first winds of a wonderful month-long hurricane that's mere days from wreaking glorious havoc across our beaches and forests. There's a heavy, overcast feeling to the air, and the birds have notably stopped chirping. Children venture to the water line, only to be summoned back to their homes by shrill cries from anxious mothers. The fishermen survey the horizon, and decide that tomorrow morning, they won't be venturing into the deep. They drag their boats onto land, safe from the capricious sea. The jungle cats are growling in their caves.


IT'S MADNESS, CITIZENS! The winds will keep blowing throughout the day, and the heavy rains and thunder will pick up tomorrow with the Big East quarterfinals. Then, on Friday, all hell breaks loose as every major conference holds important games starting at noon. It continues throughout the weekend, right up to the selection show, and then there's nonstop buzz leading up to Thursday and the start of the four greatest days in sports.

I'm going to sort of loosely track my picks here as I reveal them over the next couple days. Yesterday, I got 2 of the 4 Big East opening round games right. St. John's shocked everyone by beating UConn, and my Rutgers over Cincy pick didn't quite pan out; the Bearcats scored a narrow 1-point victory. And how about that Seton Hall-Providence game? 109-106? Damn.

The second round should be reasonably fun, with Georgetown, Marquette, Louisville, and Notre Dame trying to avoid upsets in their first game. But tomorrow will be a real blast. Those four teams, plus Syracuse, Villanova, Pitt, and West Virginia will be squaring off in a wild quarterfinal round. What a conference.

Moving on, here's my predicted bracket for the Big 12 tourney.



As you can see, I have Kansas going down to A&M in the semi-finals. I almost picked them to lose to Colorado, but held off at the last second. The reasoning behind this is historical precedent. At least one very good team goes down early in the conference tournament every year, almost to the point that you suspect their coach doesn't really want to win, and would rather rest for the big dance. Last year, UNC fell to FSU by three, and then looked unbeatable on a national title run. If that game really mattered, would they have lost to the Noles? Doubtful. Kansas also lost to Baylor last year, although they went on to lose to eventual finalists Michigan State in the sweet 16.

Anyway, I think Kansas is due for a loss, and I think A&M or Colorado will provide it. On the other half, I have a hot Baylor squad taking down Kansas State in the semis, and then beating A&M for the title. In a stretch, I also have Iowa State beating Texas in today's first round. The Cyclones just dealt K-State a loss, and Texas is fading about as much as you can fade without becoming invisible, so we'll ride the trends on that one.

Last night, Oakland, Butler, and North Texas all earned tournament berths by winning their conference championship. A very good night for places in our country where you would never, ever want to live.

That'll do it for now. More later today, including Pac-10 picks. As a heads-up, I'll be live blogging every Duke game this weekend. Could be one, could be three. So there may be an extra Saturday and Sunday post. FUN!

A Greivis Outrage

Now, for your daily dose of total screw jobs:

Greivis Vasquez just won ACC Player of the Year.

Here's my reaction, expressed in weird clip art:


Short memories, huh voters? I guess a couple lucky shot-put prayers in the final game of the season are enough to sway 39 of the 53 folks who make the call. Let's take a closer look, just for fun.

Scheyer was never a natural point guard. Due to a lack of anyone else competently doing the job, Coach K asked him to assume the role last year, and he did a fine job while he learned the intricacies of the position. And this year? Let's take a look at one of the better stats used to measure PG proficiency: assist-to-turnover ratio. Scheyer had an astounding 3.0 attr, good for 5th in the entire nation.

Vasquez? 1.9. And he's supposed to be the born point guard!

And that's not the only place where Scheyer trumped Vasquez in efficiency. An 89% free throw shooter, and a 40% three-point shooter, Scheyer averaged 1.39 points per shot. All three of those stats trump Vasquez.

The last game obviously played a huge part in the final decision, but were any of the voters watching when Duke won by 22 at home? Where were they then?

Oh, and I bet that HUGE 41-point performance on the road at Virginia Tech was pretty important too, right? I wonder how well he shot that game...hmmm...how about 13 for fucking 33? That's not that great, folks. It's even below his season average; he just shot a lot. Any top player in a big conference can huck it up the same way.

And what the hell else were they looking at? Apparently, game averages. Game averages, that is, that will inherently favor a guy who takes more shots. Yes, Vasquez averaged .7 more points than Scheyer. But he attempted 40 more shots over the course of the season! And he's played one fewer game! So that stat's kinda useless, right? Remember how Duke has two other great performers who score an awful lot and need touches? Maryland's next highest scorer is Landon Millbourne. Ever heard of him? Me either. He contributes 12 per game. Nolan and Singler each average over 17 per. No comparison.

Vasquez also averages .9 assists more per game than Scheyer, but again, he turns the ball over 3.3 times, so that's pretty unimportant. LOOK AT THE EFFICIENCY STATISTICS, ASSHOLES.

This is the equivalent of a pitcher winning a Cy Young because he has the most wins, while the writers ignore ERA. Wouldn't happen, not anymore. So why is college basketball lagging behind?

By the way, Scheyer also has more steals, fewer personal fouls, more three-pointers (by 24), and more trips to the line.

The word 'outrage' is thrown around with great impunity, oftentimes in a comical fashion, but if there are outrages left in sports, this is one. Greivis, you're a turd. And you got lucky. Congrats. See you in the ACC title game, if you can make it that far, and then we'll find out how you match up with Scheyer on a neutral floor.

I DISLIKE YOU.

Morning: Has Broken

I have no idea what that post title means, sort of like I have no idea what will be in this post. But I'm in a good mood. It's March, and we're like two days away from some heavy duty basketball.

So let's do asterisks:

*Siena gutted out an OT win to earn the automatic berth from the MAAC conference yesterday. Two of my aunts played basketball there, and I watched with one of them when the Saints beat Ohio State in double OT in the first round last year. They almost beat Louisville in the second round, too. So there's a little upstate flair...go Albany region!



*St. Mary's pissed off everyone on the bubble from a big conference by earning the automatic bid from the WCC. They took down Gonzaga, who will obviously have a spot in the tourney, and made life miserable for the Floridas of the world.

*A fun three-point shooting team from William & Mary fell to Old Dominion. Teams like these are always real exciting; they have no interior game at all, but they can go on sudden 10-15 point bursts just by nailing from long range. And it's somehow more fun because at least three of the players look like they should be Division 3 shooting guards. ODU smartly ran some kind of 4-1 zone and successfully closed out on the shooters all game, limiting the Tribe to 53 points. ODU: where fun goes to die. Even their name is boring and stodgy.

SNOOZE

*I'm in a conference tournament pool this year, where you pick the brackets from the 6 major conferences, and I have to make my Big East picks today. They have a particularly complex system, where the top 4 seeds get a double bye, and the opening rounds with seeds 9-16 start today. So I've got to figure out who might between Cincinnati and Rutgers, or Seton Hall and Providence, and I admit I'm grasping at straws here. I'm much more comfortable making horrible picks with teams I've watched all year. Anyway, I thought I'd share my picks with you, conference by conference. This morning...THE BIG EAST!



I'm actually pretty comfortable with those first round games. Cincy-Rutgers is my only upset pick, and there's very little reasoning behind it...the Bearcats just strike me as the kind of team who are probably really athletic underachievers, and I can see them tanking here. Of course, this is based on my perception of them during the Huggins-era, and may be completely wrong now.

For the rest of the bracket, I'm riding the hot hands. I think Nova has taken some serious confidence hits of late, so I like Marquette to upset them in the quarters. G-Town has no shot against Syracuse, so that was an easy call. Notre Dame has been on fire lately, and now Harangody's back, so I'm calling them over Pitt. And Louisville has to be riding high after that Syracuse win, right? Pitino, much as I hate him, is a good tourney time coach. I think they'll get by WVU and Notre Dame, make the finals, and go down to Syracuse in the end.

*Speaking of which, every year I go up to Glens Falls to watch the New York boy's high school basketball championships. It's a family tradition. The place is humming with "real" basketball fans, by which I mean you can't spin clockwise without seeing a lot of obesity and sweatpants and nacho detritus. And no women. But it's a lot of fun, and even though loyalties are divided with regards to the high school teams, everyone in the place is a Syracuse fan. There's a huge dining hall with big screen tvs off one of the corridors for fans who want to see the college games, and when Syracuse plays, it's overflowing. Lots of orange, lots of hooting and hollering. This year, the tournament falls on the first weekend of the NCAA tourney, so it will be mayhem.

That being said, here's my great advice for all you NCAA bracket hounds. Syracuse won't be just a local favorite; they'll be a national doll. This is especially true if they win the Big East tourney. But if you've grown up rooting for the Orange like me, you understand that the only thing predictable about a postseason Jim Boeheim team is their unpredictability. They could easily win the title this year. A lot of people will pick them to do so, and with good reason. But success for the Cuse is not a sure thing. If you want to get a jump on the competition, pick the Orange to lose in the sweet 16. Nobody but nobody will pick them to go out before the final 4, but we're not talking about a team like Carolina from last year where a final 4 is virtually guaranteed. All it takes is one hot-shooting team to bust that zone up, and a cold night from the Orange, and voila, they're gone. You're taking a risk by picking them to lose, but if it pans out, you'll have a huge advantage. Especially over this girl:



*Last thing: I'm running a bracket pool this year, and it'll be pretty big. If you want in, whoever you be, let me know. Here's a feature I think I invented, but that I firmly believe should be in every madness pool: a $100 bounty for a 16-1 upset pick. Never happened before in history, and I think the first person to pick it should be rewarded. Does this open it up to idiots who want to spend 10 dollars to pick every 16-seed? Possibly. But we'll take their money.

The Ghosts are Exorcised

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BE GONE, PHANTOMS


4 YEARS OF HELL HAVE PASSED


HANSBROUGH IS VANQUISHED


THE BLUE REIGN IS RESTORED


THE AGE OF THE WOUNDED CHILD


GIVES WAY TO THE DEVIL'S HAMMER


AS CAROLINA DESCENDS



THE MOJO RISES


IN LIKE LIONS


OUT LIKE CHAMPS

Morning: Weekend Awesomeness Scale, 3/8 Edition

In an optimistic move, I decided not to wear a coat to work this morning. Just a t-shirt and a pullover, and I was out the door and into the sunshine- a dude of hope. It ended up being way colder than I wanted, and the short walk to the subway was chilly, but in my book it was still the right move. The sentiment is the thing / wherein we catch the conscience of the spring. It's early March; a new season is on the way, madness is on the way, baseball is on the way. It's the kind of morning where you don't need a coat, even if you do. Cold is just a current reality; I'm staying in the moment, but this particular moment is all about the future. It's warm even when it ain't, baby!

Let's get up to some business. This ain't no place for the weary kind.


1 - As Awesome as Kevin Smith Winning the Oscar for Best Screenwriting

This didn't happen, but it's the worst possible award/winner combo I can imagine. If you just read these past two sentences and were like "oh, but Clerks was hilarious!" then you should take a hike in the woods and keep going until you run into trouble or learn something about yourself. If you come back, pop in Clerks, and don't have a sudden epiphany where you're like "damn, this is a bad movie made by a person I don't like," then you haven't gone far enough. (Man, though, if you want to feel bad for Kevin Smith, read this article.)

This goes to Ben Roethlisberger being accused of sexual assault. What the hell is the deal here? The first woman in Lake Tahoe seemed like a clear nutjob, and it was easy to be satisfied that she went off the deep end and came up with a bunch of false accusations. Now there's this woman in Georgia, and it's starting to look like a pattern. There are a few possibilities here:

1) The first woman was crazy, but the second woman realized that the existence of that story would lend credence if she falsely accused Ben, so she did so for money or whatever. This would be pretty sinister and seems kinda hard to believe.

2) Big Ben is up to no good with the ladies.

Unless you're from a rival city, I think most of us like Roethlisberger. He's tough on the field, resilient, etc., and off the field he seems nice and kinda goofy. But does he have a weird problem for assaulting ladies off the field? That would be pretty friggin' disheartening. I'm sure there's more to come on this one.


2 - As Awesome as How Macaulay Culkin Looked Last Night

Yikes. Home Alone was the iconic movie of my childhood. I used to watch it over and over and imagine I was Kevin, laying all kinds of traps for Pesci and Stern. Good times. But man, MK looks like hell. It's like he aged two years since then, grew eight inches, didn't eat, and stared at a really bright screen for 20 hours a day.

We'll give this to Kentucky going undefeated at home. You ever spend a lot of time claiming some team is overrated, but they keep winning even though you're pretty sure you're right? It gets kind of annoying. To be fair, I called it with Texas this year when they were #1, and that panned out in a big way, culminating in their 15-point loss to Baylor on Saturday, which ensures they'll finish the year unranked. But Kentucky is doing me no favors. I still expect Tennessee to win the SEC tournament, and UK to go out in the second round or the Sweet 16. But they're making me look bad, and I hate looking bad. Plus, they tried to steal the thunder from a more significant perfection proclamation.


3 - As Awesome as Sandra Bullock for Best Actress

Really, for The Blindside? Down year for actresses, apparently. I pretty much called most awards during the show, but this is the one example where I would have probably picked her last. I'm not saying she was bad, or the movie was bad, but in the end it was a mushy sports film, right? Hold on while I don my tweed vest and spill a snifter of brandy as I become outraged...THIS IS NOT SERIOUS ART, PEOPLE!

Um, we'll send this one to Louisville over Syracuse. I hate Rick Pitino, I have no love for the state of Kentucky, and I really enjoy Boeheim and Syracuse. In the end, this loss isn't too important; Syracuse will still be a #1 seed, and will still be the favorite (in my mind) for the national title. But it would've been nice to stick it to Slick Rick, especially after they beat The Cuse at home.


4 - As Awesome as the Hosting Job by Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin

Pretty unremarkable, huh? Not terrible, I guess, but I think I only had one gut laugh (Martin's joke about Meryl Streep collecting Hitler memorabilia), and the rest made me wonder how much time they (whoever) actually spent writing the jokes. The punch lines were almost as predictable as Martin's pretentious glasses. Plus, I think Alec Baldwin is wearing his welcome in the popular consciousness. Underwhelming show, guys, which is pretty much how I feel about the whole night.

Maryland earns this one with their 6-point win at UVA. It means they finish the season tied with Duke, and will share the ACC regular season crown. I didn't expect the Cavaliers to win, but it's still aggravating. I can't forget the road loss from last week. It's still fresh. I can't explain how badly I want to see these guys in the ACC final. It's almost the most important thing right now. If you told me we could win a national title, but the price would be another loss to Maryland in the ACC tourney, I'd have to give that some serious thought.

Okay, done thinking: I'll take the title. Screw Maryland and Greivis Vasquez, though.


5 - As Awesome as Star Trek Winning Best Makeup, and Hurt Locker Winning the Sound Awards

Obvious stuff, unmoving. Star Trek was the only nominee in that category with "weird" makeup, and Hurt Locker dealt with bombs. Hardly seems fair to the other nominees; you might be the best makeup person in the world, and just kick ass making people look like Brits from the 1700s, but you can't beat the guy who does the crazy alien faces. And you might edit sound like the Mozart of the mix board, but you won't beat the people who have like 18 explosions in their film.

KU's win over Missouri. Just too much going on for the Jayhawks at this point. Even the border war won't faze them. They'll probably be #1 in today's final poll, and come bracket time, they'll even get the majority of picks for national champion, both from experts and laymen. Personally, I don't know what to think of them. I'm sure I won't have the guts to have them go out before the Final 4, but part of me sees them as a bit unreliable. Stay tuned.


6 - As Awesome as the Dancers for the Soundtrack Presentation Thing, Minus their Clothes

Pretty impressive stuff. I wish I could jump and roll and look awesome like that. Terrible wardrobe, though. As the girlfriend pointed out, they looked like they were in a large-scale Gap ad. The fact that they overcame this demonstrates their dancing acumen. It is very difficult to win the hearts and minds of America when you dress like the arrogant dude who knows the names of 74 ski resorts in the west and can't open his mouth without sneering. Kudos!

Cromartie to the Jets takes this one. Man, it won't be fun to pass against Big Green next year. No sir. And they even threw him a half-mil to pay some pesky lingering child support payments. Character!


7 - As Awesome as Wes Anderson Winning Best Animated Feature

Didn't happen. Would've been cool, but Up took the cake as I predicted, and as anyone with half a brain could have predicted. C'est la vie, world.

Antrel Rolle to the G-Men. Yes! We broke the bank for him, but after last season's debacle, it had to be done. At least we know we have a kick-ass safety. I'm still waiting for the cornerback situation to get a fix, but in the meantime this will hold me over. I especially love this quote from that Post article:

“When I am on the field I hold no pity for the next man."

Welcome, A-Rolle.


8 - As Awesome as the New Roman Polanski Flick

Change of pace here...I know the guy's a first class perv, but Ghost Writer is a top notch thriller. Polanski is a total throwback, and one of the few guys left who makes the real visceral, dark kind of suspenseful film that's less about wild chases and effects and convoluted plot and more about insinuation and atmosphere; the stuff that really gets in your head.

Life's about the simple things, so this goes to just walking the sidewalks of Brooklyn on a warm Sunday afternoon and hearing a baseball game being broadcast through the open door of a bar. It's an old school vibe, and you can't complain.


9 - As Awesome as Avatar Being Shut Out of the Big Awards

It's not terribly classy to cheer against something, but in this case I give myself a pass. You'd be a fool not to be impressed by what-all went into making Avatar, and the effects and the 3-D and all the other bells and whistles, but it's good to know that story still counts. Plain and simple, it did not deserve Best Picture. For all his hard work, Cameron did half the job. It was good enough for highest-grossing film ever, but you can't go all the way on a re-hashed plot and trite acting.

By the same token, it was nice to see Kansas State lose at home to a mediocre opponent. It gives Duke the inside track on a #1 seed, which is actually pretty important. It's nice to avoid those 2/3 seeds until the Elite 8. And it showcases some weakness in the Wildcat game, notably shooting; they were 3-23 from behind the arc. On it's worst day, Duke has never been that bad. The nation can groan and moan about our athleticism all it wants, but we're now a deserving 1-seed. Win the ACC Tourney, and it's a given.


10 - As Awesome as Jeff Bridges Winning Best Actor

I saw Crazy Heart on Saturday, and let me tell ya, he earned it. His win was the best moment of the night, and the only thing that came close to saving the show from its overall drudgery. Bridges is a class act, and he deserved it.

Just like the Dukies deserved their blow-out win over Carolina. It was the perfect way for a classy, tough individual like Jon Scheyer to go out, and it served as a coronation for the best Duke team since 2004. Dominating win over a rival? Check. Perfection Proclamation complete with an unblemished home record? Check. Earth, Wind, and Scheyer all scoring at least 20? Check. The rest of the seniors, like Zoubek, going out in style? Check.

Just an incredible performance from an incredible group of guys. The weak Blue Devil teams are now officially a thing of the past, and, title or no title, this group won't bow to anyone. It's March, and they're ready for war.

Good thing, too. Spring ain't no place for the weary kind.

Preekend Stuff

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'Preekend' is the hip new word that means pre-weekend. All the hottest young kids are using it.

Hot female student at fun college: Hey Mark, did you finish all your preekend homework?

Mark: Hell yeah, and now my preekend is almost over! Gonna get my drink on!

Old professor of history: Hello, may I ask the meaning of the word preekend, which I have heretofore never heard?

Hot female student: Fuck off, you old impotent bastard, or I'll burn your hair off!


Sorry if that content offended anyone, but that's what the younger generation is like. I've seen it at music shows.

Oscar Thought #3: Here's the best case scenario for the best picture category: the presenter comes up, everyone hushes, he does his preamble, takes a pregnant pause, and says, "and the Oscar goes to...Up!" Everyone cheers, music starts playing, and the Pixar people are jumping around like crazy. Then, after a long pause, the presenter leans back into the mic and goes "In The Air!"

Classic.

Hey, sports are happening!

The regular season ends this weekend. First, and foremost, Duke plays Carolina at home. If they win, the Perfection Proclamation is made good. No losses at home: can't knock it.

West Virginia-Villanova is probably the marquee game of Saturday, and Syracuse at Louisville should be great too. Also, championship week starts, with the Big South, Atlantic Sun, and Ohio Valley titles all contested on Saturday. A lot of people don't get too interested in the smaller conferences, but with a tourney berth on the line, I think it's a blast. You can see the comprehensive schedule here.

Oscar Thought #4: You ever wonder if those old British actresses used to be really attractive? I'm talking the likes of Helen Mirren and Dame Judi Dench. Check 'em out.

Judi Dench:


Helen Mirren:


What about Meryl Streep?


And Betty White?

Biden! He got me again!

Back to sports: if you had to guess which baseball team had a young budding star discover a thyroid imbalance, which team would it be? Oh, ye Mets. I hope Reyes is okay, he was one of the few players on that team who wasn't completely boring.

And don't miss Roy Halladay avenging the Phillies' World Series loss. It only took him two innings! Man, he's good!

Enjoy the games this weekend. I'll conclude with some Oscar picks, using call the categories listed on this page, along with some brilliant rationale.


Best Original Screenplay: The Messenger

First of all, it's up against something written by Quentin Tarantino. Easy 4th place, at least. The other contenders are a lesser Coen Bros. film, a cartoon, and Hurt Locker. I'm taking The Messenger just because I liked it the best, but smart money is on Hurt Locker.


Best Adapted Screenplay: In The Loop

Funniest friggin' movie I've seen in a long time. See this if you haven't. Uh-oh, looks like I'm picking based on my personal preference, which is never a winner. I'll be pissed if District 9 wins anything, by the way. Didn't see it, but I'm positive it sucked.


Visual Effects: Avatar

Avatar should win all the categories that don't involve the movie actually being good.


Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

Oh God, it was glorious sound mixing in this one. Just glorious! Seriously, though, I always feel like these categories go to the film that had the trickiest task. Must be hard to sound edit bombs, right?


Sound Editing: Avatar

They can't mix for shit, but man, can these guys edit. It's beautiful to hear.


Short Film, Live Action: Instead of Abracadabra

To be brutally honest with you, I think it was a really down year for live action short films.


Short Film, Animated: A Matter of Loaf and Death

I picked this one because it sounds like a post title I wish I had used. That aside, though, I have to admit that this was a pretty amateur production, even by animated short film standards. Total shit.


Music, Original Song: The Weary Kind

I'm actually pretty upset they're not performing these anymore. That was the best part of the whole show.


Original Score: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Please, let Wes Anderson win something. Or be associated with something that wins. I don't care. Wes is a superhuman. He deserve that statue, baby!


Makeup: The Young Victoria

Great work by these guys. Every face looked really British. I didn't get aroused once.


Foreign Film: El Secreto De Sus Ojos

I have a theory that the beauty of certain languages makes their writers really lazy. In English, this film title is "The Secret in Their Eyes." Even in the most cliche corners of Hollywood, this title would be judged too corny in America. It wouldn't fly. But apparently it's the best film in Argentina. This owes entirely, I believe, to the fact that it sounds great in their language. In plain ole 'Merican, it sounds exactly as stupid as it is.


Film Editing: Avatar

Jesus, how many categories are there? This stopped being fun after sound mixing.


Documentary Short: The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner

I judge the documentary categories by which ones I'd like to see. Booth Gardner, eh? Sounds sinister.


Normal Documentary: The Cove

I saw the preview for this one at like every movie I've attended this year. I feel it's earned my pick.


Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow

I mean, they could give it to Cameron because it took him 15 years or so to make his, but I'd prefer they wait and just give him a lifetime achievement award for being crazy. By the way, you can tell how much this year sucked for movies by how often Tarantino's name shows up on the list.

Head Oscar Guy, reading the list: Good lord, is it really necessary to invite Quentin?

His Assistant: I'm afraid so.

Head Guy: There's nobody else?

His Assistant: IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE, DO YOU THINK I'D HAVE INVITED TARANTINO? DO I LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE?

Head guy: Okay, okay, calm down. Shit. Did you at least give him a bad seat?

Assistant: I assigned him to a urinal in the outer hallway.

Head guy: Good, good.


Costume Design: Nine

"Nine" was the shortest one to type. Way shorter than The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnass- fuck.


Cinematography: Avatar

I had a friend who visited that planet, and apparently the movie is pretty accurate.


Art Direction: Avatar

This award will feature the night's best speech. Mark my words.


Animated Feature: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Wooo! I mean, Up will surely win, but FMF was even better. The usual amazing effort from Wes. However, doesn't this award seem unfair? Up was nominated for best picture. Obviously people think more highly of that film, right? It'd be like Scheyer winning ACC Player of the Year, then crossing his fingers that he won Duke Player of the Year. Not much suspense.


Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique

Haven't seen it, but everyone keeps hyping her. Also, I don't mean to get controversial, but whenever there's not an obvious winner, awards like these tend to go to racial minorities. (Mo'Nique is black.)


Best Supporting Actor: Woody Harrelson

I actually have hope that this will come true, because every other movie in this category was awful.


Best Actress: Carey Mulligan

This award is up for grabs big time. The minority hypothesis might come into effect, or they might just say 'fuck it' and give it to Meryl Streep. But I'm going with Mulligan as the dark horse. Of course, if I'm wrong, I think I'll take another mulligan. LOLOLOLOLOOLOOLJLAJDSFL;AJSFL;ASJF.


Best Actor: Jeremy Renner

Tough one, but Invictus sucked, people are a little tired of Clooney, A Single Man flew under the radar, and I'm not feeling Bridges. Renner's got this.


Best Picture: Hurt Locker

It would just be too silly if Avatar won.


Have a nice weekend.

Morning: Osssss-carrrrrssss!

I think you can guess the inflection on that word without me explaining.

You all know me as a dude of sports, but I dig the hell out of movies as well. I have my problems with the Oscars, but that's a soap box that's wobbly from too many folks standing on it. Also, the movies I think are best are usually not even nominated, so it's not like I'm disappointed on Oscar night. I'm disappointed on nomination day, but by the big show, I've forgotten all about it and can just kick back and enjoy the theatrics. So, for all of today's posts, I'll be interspersing some Oscar thoughts with the sports stuff.

Slow night yesterday, with only a couple college bball games (Pitt and Michigan State escaped at home over weaker conference teams, interesting occurences if you're already thinking about your bracket), so I'll look ahead to the weekend. First and foremost, on Saturday at 9pm:

THE GREATEST RIVALRY IN COLLEGE HOOPS!

Oops, that was weird. Why did a cocky Joe Biden picture come up? I'm trying to find a Duke-UNC themed thing, because they play at 9 tomorrow. I thought I posted it the right way...hold on a second, let's try this again...

THE GREATEST RIVALRY IN COLLEGE HOOPS!

What the hell! Something is seriously screwed up here. Biden's not even from the Carolina area. There's no relevance. Come on Blogger, I just want a picture that has something to do with the game. Anything. I'm talking about...

THE GREATEST RIVALRY IN COLLEGE HOOPS!

Okay, better! Much better. A crappy logo of a smiling Blue Devil is a step in the right direction, even if it's not that familiar and may not even be from Duke, and totally ignores the rivalry theme. But you're on the right track. Now, let's really do this. Come on Blogger...knock my socks off. Show us the perfect picture to symbolize the Carolina-Duke clash. You know what I'm getting at...

THE GREATEST RIVALRY IN COLLEGE HOOPS!

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. I HAVE OVER TWO HUNDRED POSTS, AND YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY? SCREW YOU, I'M DONE! I'M JUST DONE.


Oscar thought #1: why is Avatar nominated for best film? It's visually impressive and all that, but at the end of the day it's a trite big budget thing, right? I mean, would they nominate Spiderman? Even last year's Batman, which was way more artistic than Avatar, wasn't nominated. I don't get it. I enjoyed it, but it's a popcorn flick. This wouldn't be such a big deal to me, by the way, if it was just thrown in among the ten. But people are saying either Avatar or The Hurt Locker will win...baffling.

Oscar thought #2: My favorite movie this year, a designation which guarantees that it won't be nominated, was The Messenger. If you have a chance to see it, do. Woody Harrelson was great, and Ben Foster was even better. The script is amazing, the direction is perfect, there are multiple moments where you'll tear up, and more when you'll laugh your ass off. I've never been a soldier, but I can still detect human truth, and this was a masterpiece.

More sports and oscar thoughts coming later today.

Cooler Head, Please Prevail

(SCSD now has multiple daily posts. Don't miss the others below.)


Now that I've had at least twelve hours to calm down, I can start to look at last night's 79-72 loss to the Terps from a saner place. If you don't like sanity, and want to get thrust directly into the mind of an angry human who ends up not getting his way, read the post below. But here, now, I'm going to use my new sanguine outlook to re-visit the game, asterisk style.

*First, it needs to be said that we played a pretty good game. If you want to try to pinpoint why we lost, it's easy- Scheyer went 7-21. In this post, I chronicled his streaky shooting throughout the year, and hoped that when tournament time came around, we'd be on the happy side of those streaks. Last night, we weren't. It cost us the game.

*But there were other things. The refs sucked. If you read this blog, you'll see very few instances where I whine about the officials. In any sport. Fans everywhere, even intelligent ones, are way too quick to play the blame-the-refs card. But they screwed us last night. There were the blatant calls, like Scheyer's phantom travel, and the 6-10 instances where one of our players was shoved without punishment (especially on the second-to-last possession, when Scheyer was bodied aggressively almost out-of-bounds).

But it goes deeper than that; some of the touch fouls called on Duke were atrocious, and had no equivalent on the other end of the floor. Anytime a proper call was made against Maryland and the fans erupted in anger, you could expect an unnecessary make-up call to follow. I'm not suggesting any kind of conspiracy, but I am suggesting that certain referees become intimidated, or persuaded, or whatever, by loud home crowds. And they take it out on the visitors. This is the definition of choking for them, and last night's crew were chokers.

*Maryland shot 50% from the field and 89% from the line. Needless to say, these far exceed their usual season totals. A lot of those shots were pure bullshit, especially near the end. Can we please stop calling Greivis Vasquez's performance 'clutch'? Nolan shut his ass down for about 38 minutes, and then he made three incredibly lucky shots near the end. Emphasis on lucky. If he re-created that last shot 10 times, without defense, he'd probably make it twice.

*Getting back to our performance, this loss doesn't worry me one bit. I wish we could have won, but I think we played well enough to win. Certain shots didn't fall, they couldn't miss, and that's the way it goes. I was happy with the offense and semi-satisfied with the defense. After getting punched in the mouth early, our rebounders had a nice game; the final margin was 34-34, but at one point Maryland held an 18-8 edge. So I'm not going to panic. I'm still more confident in this team's tournament fate than any Duke squad in recent memory.

*I badly, badly want Maryland one more time in the ACC tournament. They'll probably lose to someone like Georgia Tech just to piss me off, but if not, I guarantee a win.

*The fans are still scumbags. There's no class in that entire university.

*Greivis Vasquez needs to be 'dealt with' in some kind of old school way.

*I'm still bitter.

*Here's a wonderful article about Coach K, and the pin he wears on his lapel, to help us forget the loss and paint a nice contrast between our program and the goons elsewhere.

Morning: Tape Delay Blog, Duke at Maryland

(Hey friends, this is a tape-delay blog of last night's game. What that means is that I typed these thoughts as they happened, and, aside from minor style edits, left them intact for this morning's post. Enjoy!

Note: I will be offering a series of calmer, more rational thoughts on the game later today. This post includes a lot of bad language, anger, and uncensored reaction. Take it for what it is.)

8:59: Live blog, baby! TV just went on, and Notre Dame is about to beat UConn at home...and there it is, game over. No threat of OT. That’s what I like in a lead-in game. Teams need to know their role.

9:01: Trivia: why is Kansas-Kansas State not on tv? #5 vs #2? I rarely have a problem with ESPN’s game selection, but this is crazy. It’s a no-brainer, right? Instead, ESPN2 is showing Wake Forest and Florida St. And something else after. Snooze fest.

9:02: “The league was a jumbled mess,” says the voiceover lead-in about the ACC early this year. Nah, I don’t remember that. I just remember us always being the best team. I’M CONFIDENT, AND I’M FROM DUKE! I MAKE MILLIONS ON WALL STREET!

9:04: We’ve got Dan Shulman and Jay Bilas on the scene. Bilas calls both Greivis Vasquez and Jon Scheyer “Mr. Everything” for their respective teams.

9:06: Two 3s come up short for Duke after Maryland scores the first basket. The assholes in College Park are in full throat. Singler gets stuffed. Fast game…HUGE BOARD BY ZOUBEK. NO NONSENSE! OLE SNOWSHOES IS IN THE HOUSE!

9:07: “Doesn’t a turtle make you think of something really slow?” asks my girlfriend, referring to Maryland’s mascot. Good point. Somehow, I never thought of that.

9:08: Greivis ices two at the line. He scored 41 against Virginia Tech last game. Not bad.

9:09: Scheyer misses again. Bad start. And Vasquez nails a 3 in transition. 7-0. Ruh-roh, says Duke the neurotic dog.

9:09: Zou gets us on the board with a nice tip-in off a sweet pass by Schey. We need to start looking for Vasquez in transition. Three people ignored him on that last drive. And there’s another three from Maryland. Shit.

9:11: Scheyer looks like he’s trying to shoot a Frisbee. Or a bowling ball, or something. I don’t know. Definitely not a basketball- I want to make that clear.

9:11: The Maryland fans might be cheering “fuck you, Scheyer.” Of course, this is the same group of dignified individuals who cheered when Nolan Smith was lying on the floor concussed last year after a cheap pick by Dave Neal.

9:12: Something’s wrong with the net, and a tv timeout as they fix it. In a related story, Greivis Vasquez’s hair net also broke this morning, in the shower.

9:14: They retired his jersey before the game, and ESPN shows a clip leading into commercial. Oh great, now it’s the ‘send it into overtime’ Buffalo Wild Wings commercial. In a world of bad commercials, this might be the absolute worst. Here’s a group of douchebag fans who would rather see 3 extra minutes of a game than have their team win. And they’re all friends! Weeee! Come eat at Buffalo Wild Wings, a restaurant I swear to God I have never actually seen anywhere. It only exists in name, for the purpose of making infuriating commercials.

9:16: FSU beats Wake Forest by 4. We got to see a fun shot of Chas McFarland looking pissed in his inimitable sullen teenager style. Thanks, video!

9:17: “We have the updated ACC standings,” says Shulman, as though some lackey wearing a vest and a poor boy cap just handed it to him hot off the presses.

9:18: Bilas speculates that the break might help the Dukies. Let’s hope he’s right. It certainly doesn’t help me; this game will probably last 'til midnight.

9:18: Singler for 3! SHUT THE F*$% UP, MARYLAND!

9:18: That will probably be the last time I bleep out a swear word. It's just not sustainable.

9:19: Vasquez shoots! Surprise! Ugh, and a beautiful reverse layup by Hayes. That was pretty.

9:20: Damn, Nolan. A good drive ends in a tentative 8-footer that comes up way short.

9:20: Oh boy. Vasquez to Jordan Williams, who slams it in Scheyer’s face and draws the foul. And then he banks in the foul shot. I hate this team. At least now the Plumblefucks are in to save the day.

9:21: Wow, Miles Plumlee nails a jumper. And Maryland scores yet another transition bucket. Our offense has degenerated into chucking 3s.

9:22: Predictably, Miles gets carried away and takes a shot from even further away. This one doesn’t go down. Now it’s 19-7.

9:23: Good drive by Mason. Shit needs to calm down. My friend Vance, a Terp fan, just texted me with “wow” about the Williams dunk. Agreed, it was a ‘wow’ jam. But I respond with “lucky dunk.”

9:24: Steal by Mason, who finds a wide open Scheyer, who is afraid to shoot and turns it over on a drive. Vasquez makes them pay on the other end.

9:25: Fucking fuckety fuck, WHY DON’T WE TRY TO SCORE WHEN WE BREAK THE PRESS. DON’T JUST SIT ON THE WING WITH THE BALL AND WAIT FOR MARYLAND TO CATCH UP. NOT IDEAL! NOT IDEAL!

9:27: Juan Dixon is in the house. Guess what, though? Didn’t work for UNC with Hansbrough. Game over.

9:28: Hey, it’s Andre Dawkins, the 3-point specialist who can’t make a 3.

9:29: Attaboy, Schey. Great drive and a regal lay-in. Yes, regal.

9:29: Lance Thomas is absolutely useless. Catch the ball, man. It’s literally all anyone asks of you. Maryland is hurting us on the boards.

9:30: Sing for 2. Great drive. Oops, I’m going to start time-stamping by time remaining. I always do this! 21-12 Maryland.

9:41: Maryland can’t miss. Annoying. It’s Georgetown all over again. But Nolan answers back. Just hang with these guys in the first half, please.

9:16: Stupid, stupid foul by Lance Thomas on the perimeter. Thankfully, Mason replaces him. But another hit jumper by Maryland gives them an 11 point lead.

8:41: Yes, Nolan! Another 3, and we’re refusing to go away. Meanwhile, the net gets hung up. Where did they get these nets, EASTERN EUROPE? (Always an easy target.)

8:10: Oh good, more refs afraid to make a call against the home team. They’ve basically taken out their magnifying glasses to search for touch fouls to call on Duke.

7:30: ZOUBEK IS A MONSTER! Great offensive board, and it’s a 6-point game. Mosely hits a two in response. Who the hell is this guy?

6:42: Un-fucking-believable. Is there any other team who inspires more absurd shooting performances than Duke? Another three pushes the lead back to 11, Zoubek might be hurt, and the troglodytes in the stands are waving their wooden clubs and clamoring for blood.

6:42: Is it possible to hate any place as much as I hate Buffalo Wild Wings right now? Bad commercials become infuriating when Duke is losing.

6:42: Zoubek’s finger is hurt. Shouldn’t keep him out long, but he’s probably done for the first half. Not awesome. Airball by Nolan. Mosley hits a three. We’re totally fucked.

5:45: Miles Plumlee hits a three. Now 1-1 from beyond the arc on the year. This is what our offense has come to. And I cannot friggin’ believe that Maryland has 33 points already.

5:18: Lance Thomas shoots from just inside the 3-point line. Perfect. Just what we needed there. I’m just glad it didn’t come close to going in, or we might get overconfident.

5:18: 18-8 rebounding edge for Maryland.

5:07: Nolan hits two. He needs to take this game over. 10-point game. Hayes hits a floater in the lane. I’m resigned to Maryland never missing a single shot for the rest of history.

4:25: I have a lot of sympathy for what Dawkins has been through this year. That being said, he should not be in this game. The level of intensity is beyond what he can handle right now. Turnover, Maryland’s ball. 36-24.

3:35: Wow, Lance Thomas. Nice hook. Shulman points out that Scheyer has been on the bench for a while, which is quite strange. Only one foul, but 1-6 from the field. TV timeout.

3:35: Judging by my current level of fatigue, this has an awesome shot at being the first game of the year where I say 'screw it' and go to bed early. How does this make everyone feel? Honestly, I can’t stand to watch the Maryland fans have any kind of success. Every time they show a close-up of the crowd, I immediately pick out ten individuals I despise on sight.

3:07: Huge 3 by Singler. But again, this appears to be our only offense. And wow, a zone by Duke. Which is completely broken down by the Terps for a lay-up.

2:26: Generous call by the refs gives Singler continuation…although, on replay, it appears to be the right call. Sing has 10, make it 11, and Duke is within 8. Get it to within 5 by half, boys.

2:05: Stop the presses, if they have presses anymore: Maryland missed a jumper.

2:05: I've just been informed on Twitter that there are no more presses.

1:44: “You can’t just pass the ball around the perimeter,” says Bilas. “You have to dribble penetrate.” Yup. Great advice.

1:11: OH MAN. Trey from Nolan, and it’s down to 5. The zone seems to have been a nice idea, as it at least slowed them down a bit. If Scheyer would just show up for this game, we’d be fine.

1:11: When all is said and done, this has been an excellent season for Nolan. 18 ppg, 4th in the ACC, and some great pressure play. It’s been awesome watching his improvement.

39.0: SCHEYER’S BACK, BABY! 2-point game, and this is fairly unbelievable. Maryland trying to hold for last shot…

0.8: Airball by Moseley, and Duke will have a short possession to end the half. No early bedtime for me, it seems.

0.8: Texas is probably going to finish the season unranked. Hilarious. I give myself credit for identifying them as pretenders back when they were ranked #1, but I didn’t expect it to get this bad.

HALFTIME: Duke closes on a 12-2 run, and it’s a little more quiet in College Park. This half feels like a moral victory for the good guys. And we’re in prime position for the actual victory in half #2.

19:52: How about a lead to start the second half??? The first of the night? Scheyer makes it happen with a three.

19:15: I love the energy. Zoubek comes up with two offensive boards. I’m still having trouble believing that he’s competent, even good, but I’m getting used to it. Nolan on a nice drive.

19:10: This has the potential to be the kind of game that turns into a massacre for the Dukies. Maryland has to be feeling like hell right now.

18:56: Those stupid optical illusion spinning things should be outlawed from basketball games. Aren’t they designed to screw up your vision? How can that be legal?

18:15: A block on Singler is quickly turned around when Nolan makes a nice steal. Despite being tackled, no foul was called, and he had to burn a TO to keep possession.

18:15: The Taco Bell Charles Barkley commercial is absurd. I don’t even know if it’s bad. I suspect so, but it’s hard to say. If I were the head Taco Bell guy, and the ad men brought me that ad, I wouldn’t know whether to fire them or give them a raise. I’d probably end up doing both.

18:00: 44-42 Duke on a nice drive by Singler.

17:47: Ridiculous fucking charge call against Nolan. Moseley never even bothered to set himself. I hate these refs. EXCEPT I DON’T ANYMORE! Scheyer fouled on a 3. Gary complains that Schey kicked his legs out to initiate contact. He nails 2 of 3. Making three straight foul shots has to be one of the hardest feats in basketball. It doesn’t seem like it should be, but even the best shooters rarely make it happen.

17:00: The “fuck you, Scheyer” chant starts up again. Great guys, those Maryland fans. Not to get up on my high horse, but if that happened in Durham, Coach K would literally stop the game, take the microphone, and make the students stop. I’ve seen it happen. There’s a difference between being passionate and being a thug.

15:55: Jesus, Zoubek is such a beast. Two offensive boards maintain possession for the Dukies into the first tv timeout. 46-44 Devils.

15:00: Man, 4 offensive boards and we didn’t get a bucket on that possession. Zoubek missed a point blank tip that would’ve done the trick.

14:28: Another blatant over-the-back on Maryland is ignored, but the ball goes out to Duke. Before that, Vasquez chucked up another airball. The defense is starting to click for Duke, and that’s a serious problem for the Terps. Unlike the Georgetown game, it appears the anomalous shooting won’t continue for an entire game.

14:03: I knew I shouldn’t have said that. Williams takes an out of control hook shot that somehow goes in, and the refs bail him out with a bad foul call just in case. Tie game, 47 all.

13:35: Scheyer fouled about 3 times on a drive, and nothing is called. This is getting ridiculous.

12:58: The pace of the game is getting crazy. Back and forth, with both teams missing two shots, before Nolan draws a non-shooting foul on the drive.

12:28: Maryland has the lead back on some poor defense by Plumlee. Milburn follows up with a hard slam. Time to slow it down, boys.

11:37: Old reliable Scheyer gets a big bucket to dim the wall of noise a bit. He is so, so good at that.

11:10: Bowie hits a three, and Duke is forced to take a timeout. Let’s see if you’re nodding like a cocky bitch when the game’s over, Bowie. This team makes me so furious. 54-49.

10:43: Coach K is rightly pissed at these refs. In slow motion, he gives them the hand wave, and spits out a sentence that clearly begins with the word ‘fuck.’ TV timeout. I’m at the point where I would literally fight anyone on Maryland’s team. I realize I would lose against every single one of them, but the point is that I would try.

10:43: It would take an insane amount of toughness for Duke to win this one, but I’m desperately hoping that they do. If we can win this game, in this environment, nothing will scare us in the tournament.

10:43: Wow, what a bullshit call on the Scheyer travel. The jobbing continues. Refs are choking.

10:22: Great defense by Zoubek, but Duke has gone cold. Another missed 3.

9:40: Tough leaner by Nolan, huge shot. I’m practically shaking here.

9:11: OH MY! Spin move by Nolan, gets the bucket and draws the foul! Wow, that was a pretty move…absolutely beautiful. The shot is down. Tie game, 54-all. Vasquez is finally back in the game.

8:56: Nolan is all over Vasquez on the defensive end. No 41 for him tonight, even if he takes his usual 30 shots. A steal, and Nolan draws another foul on offense. This is turning into his game. Unleash him, Coach! But he misses the front end of the bonus. Shit.

8:33: Lance Thomas is the king of chippy fouls. “If it’s Lance Thomas, it’s his fourth!” says Shulman, as if it matters that Lance Thomas has 4 fouls.

8:00: Nolan again! 18 points, and he’s absolutely dominating. Timeout Terps, a quiet crowd, and Duke up by two. Nolan has scored the last 7 for us.

7:43: Under 8 timeout. Vasquez will be on the line for 2. Man, do I need this break.

7:43: Here’s what it comes down to: can Vasquez make enough shots to win this game by himself? Can Duke make a few threes and break their spirits? Tie game, 56 each.

7:17: Bowie with a big jumper. Open shots need to start falling for us.

6:51: Oh God, not only is Dawkins in the game, but he hit a three. Holy shit. And Vasquez rejected by Singler. How about a dagger?

6:25: Singler draws a foul on the drive. Big shots coming up here with Duke up one.

6:25: Joe Lunardi must get so much strange this time of year. So much. And by strange, I mean strange looks when he introduces himself to women as if they should know his name. I wrote this joke four years ago, and use it every March.

6:25: I swear to God, these fucking optical illusion spinning things are screwing us up. Singler hits 1 of 2.

6:00: Travel by Moseley ignored. Hayes ties it up on a nice backdoor cut.

5:35: I LOVE YOU SCHEYER. I LOVE YOU TO DEATH. Three ball puts us up 63-60. He is so clutch. The A-Rod of Duke basketball.

5:04: Ugh, Vasquez ties it. Also, he has severe acne.

4:38: Driving scoop by Scheyer. Left hand. So pretty. No more complete sentences.

4:17: Bowie is the luckiest punk-faced bastard in the world. He could punt the ball at the basket and it would go in. Tie game.

3:50: Vasquez too. A running lay-up sorta thing goes in. Crowd going nuts. Maryland 67, Duke 65. Timeout Dukies. Cries of “Fuck Duke” come out in unison as the teams huddle. And as they break, Vasquez gestures to the crowd to get louder. He is a dramatic young man, that Vasquez. This is crazy. Come on, boys.

3:26: Scheyer blocked, jump ball called. Arrow to Maryland, time out.

3:26: I can’t explain how much I want this game. This will be heartbreaking if we lose. Fuck Maryland so much. I apologize for all the language, but DID I MENTION I WANT THIS GAME?

3:10: STEAL! Come on Duke. Apparently Vasquez was pounding his chest in the huddle, saying “let’s refuse to lose.” So cliché, Greivis.

2:50: Nolan with a jumper! God! Tie game! That’s 20 for him!

2:23: Hayes’ bullshit gets a friendly bounce. Crap son of a bitch shit balls.

2:04: Scheyer over Vasquez! Tie again! My stomach is in knots. The really tight kind that sailors learn.

1:36: Oh, Zoubek. He whiffs on an easy board and Williams gets a put-back.

1:11: Scheyer misses a three, but Lance Thomas gets the board. Duke ball, down two.

1:06: Smith way short on a three. Fuck. Maryland running clock.

38.6: Did that shot honestly go in? Did it? Vasquez with a turnaround, blind to the basket, one-handed shot put prayer, and it fucking falls. This is too much.

26.2: Scheyer gets stuck under the basket. Or rather, shoved there. But he loses the ball on a poor shot.

26.2: They just showed Vasquez's shot again. Bilas calls it clutch, but it’s not, just lucky.

26.2: Moseley hits two. 6-point game, and it’s all but over.

26.2: Vasquez demonstrative, and I hate him. I really hope we see these fucks in the ACC tournament. I would rather embarrass Maryland right now than win seven titles.

21.4: In this space, I made a domestic violence joke that was not appreciated. Or funny. Redacted.

17.6: Scheyer’s layup rolls out, and the tv is going off. Don’t want to watch these clowns storm the court. Shitty night. Screw Gary Williams. Screw Vasquez. Screw the refs. Screw Maryland.

The ACC Regular Season Championship Game

Tonight!

Duke at Maryland, 9pm, for all the marbles. Well, I guess we'll technically be tied if they win, and will probably split the title. But it'll feel like more like a loss for us, and more like a win for them. So for all intents and purposes, the showdown in College Park is the last word.

Have I mentioned that I sort of hate Maryland? Probably. It's never far from my mind, especially this time of year.

We have to shut down Vasquez. End of story. Do that, and they don't have anybody else who can beat us. He'll probably haul up 30 shots tonight, which is fine. We just have to make sure we're in his face enough that most of those don't fall through.

Offensively, ball movement and fast break chances are our friends. Zoubek needs to step up and have another big game.

I realize this isn't scorching analysis, but the truth is that the Dukies are far superior, and it will take a fluke, even on the road, for them to lose. We're just playing too well. I'm not expecting another 20-point win, like when the teams played at Cameron, but I don't think 12-15 points is out of the question. So I'll make a 72-59 prediction.

Spear the Turtle, baby. This is for the title. Possible tape-delay blog tomorrow. Here's that douchebag Dave Neal flopping against the future ACC Player of the Year:

Curtis Granderson is an Awesome Human

(SCSD now has multiple daily posts. Don't miss the others below.)

Check out this article about the newest Yankee from USA Today. He won baseball's Man of the Year Award last year, and seems to be legitimately invested in a lot of positive projects. He's campaigned against childhood obesity, fought for extracurricular funding at his school, and even written a children's book that he donated to every school library in Michigan. Welcome, Curtis.

Morning: Weekend Awesomeness Scale, FULL WEEK EDITION!

Belated hellos to you all, and apologies for this and for that. I've just spent a week on a barnstorming tour of the American south. Over five days, I stayed at:

-A historical home in Chapel Hill.
-The luxurious Carolina Inn.
-A shitty Comfort Inn by the airport in Atlanta.
-A Hilton just outside the French Quarter in New Orleans.

Lots of fun, lots of action, not a lot of sleep. I came in bleary-eyed yesterday, hoping for a bit of solace, only to be bombarded by a deferred workload. And oh, the blog suffered. It's especially unfortunate that I was absentee for such an amazing week of sports. Later today, I'll be writing about tonight's Duke-Maryland game, which is, for all intents and purposes, the ACC Championship. And it's now March, which puts madness in the mind and a hop in the step. But for the morning, I'll be living in the past for another...Weekend Awesomeness Scale.*

*This one comprises the whole week.

1 - As Awesome as Missing Your Connecting Flight to New Orleans, and Finding Out the Next Option is at 8:30 the next morning.

Sid the Kid. Vomit.


Did it have to be him?? Was that necessary, sporting gods? It's bad enough that we beat Canada in 60 minutes the first time, tied them in sixty minutes the second time, and still didn't win gold. (Seriously, shouldn't that game have ended in a tie, and the US won based on their earlier 5-3 win? No? Not how the Olympics, or anything, works?) But did it have to be Crosby, who the US shut down all game, getting the opportunistic sudden death goal to become a national hero for eternity? Or at least as long as Canada's around? I'm sorry, but that's a bit much. Not believable.

By the way, here's the pro-America, Fox News angle on this year's Olympic Hockey: US defeats Canada 7-6 on aggregate goals, loses gold on technicality.

I'll probably sound like a complete whiner now, but couldn't there at least be a system where the championship pits two teams who haven't seen each other yet? GOD.


2 - As Awesome as Getting Five Hours of Sleep in the Most Depressing Hotel in Atlanta, Knowing You Have to Return to the Airport in the Morning

Apolo Ohno gets dq'ed (see: screwed) in the 500m final. I didn't get to see this race, but I read about it later, and apparently his bump on the Canadian skater was very minor and not worthy of the DQ. Instead of investigating for myself, I'm going to take Ohno's word that it was hometown bias ("you know, it's the head Canadian referee out there and there were two Canadians in the race...").

Let's face it: the Canadians suck at running an Olympics. This is something we know. But there was also a sinister element at play. They wouldn't let anyone train on the luge/bobsled track with the usual frequency beforehand in order to give their athletes an edge. This may or may not have resulted in the Georgian luger's death. And during that 500m short-track final, the eventual winner Hamelin (a Canadian) made several of the same light touches that Ohno made on Tremblay, who fell over. The head ref turned out to have been a Canadian, and the decision resulted in two Canadians medaling.

What am I implying? I don't know. The Olympics were generally a blast, but only because they were the Olympics and it's impossible for them not to be awesome. The point is, Vancouver did everything possible to screw things up.


3 - As Awesome as Dealing with Delta Airlines for Anything at All

Worst airline in the history of the world. They suck so bad. They suck so bad that it cost $50 to cancel a $100 flight just so they wouldn't cancel a separate flight reservation. Come on, Delta. This isn't the fucking Soviet Bloc. Bureaucracy doesn't have to be a total nightmare. Life is not an absurdist play by Ionesco. Grow up.

Anyway, this goes to team's losing star players before March Madness. Sucks every year when it happens. This year, Robbie Hummel for Purdue and Luke Harangody for Notre Dame both appear to be done for the season. Not fun for anyone involved, even if I don't particularly those two schools.


4 - As Awesome as a Laptop Battery that Lasts Ten Minutes

Macbook, I understand that you're three years old, but cut me some slack. I'd like to watch more than five minutes of Friday Night Lights before you relegate me to an entire flight of staring out at the clouds. We'll dedicate this one to NBC, who cut out right in the middle of the closing ceremonies to show 'The Marriage Ref,' the program they'd been pimping for two weeks. They told their viewers to come back later if they wanted to see the conclusion.

Did anyone notice that in the previews for that show, Jerry Seinfeld and Kelly Ripa never made a joke? It was Alec Baldwin every time, and then they just showed the other two cracking up. And I think I saw about seven different previews, all with a different Baldwin gag. WHAT'S THE DEAL with Alec Baldwin?


5 - As Awesome as your Plane Landing

Not that awesome, because you have to sit on the runway until they can hand-pump (wild guess) the concourse to the door, and then you have to deal with baggage claim and ground transportation, but at least you didn't die. We'll throw this one to Kansas, Kentucky, and Purdue all losing over the weekend.

Kansas is still good, and has nothing to worry about. But they've played a lot of close games, and it finally caught up with them. This loss was a long time coming.

Kentucky, I've long asserted, is not as good as advertised. Hopefully this is the start of that prophecy's realization. I expect them to lose at least one more game, and fall out of the #1 seed discussion by Selection Sunday.

Purdue, without Hummel, is screwed. They'll lose at least two more games, and may finish the season outside the top ten. Sad story for the Boilermakers. But then again, if you're located in Indiana and name your team after factory workers, you're pretty much setting yourself up for a sad story. Have some imagination, guys; you're allowed to look further than the employment pages for your mascot.

So who does that leave for #1 seeds? Kansas is basically a lock. Even if they lose in the first round of the Big-12 Tourney, they've probably already done enough. Kentucky will be there if they win out. Syracuse is in. And Duke will take the 4th spot if they have a clean slate the rest of the way. Kansas State and Ohio State are the lurkers, and both can earn a #1 with conference tourney wins.


6 - As Awesome as a Hotel that Has Bathrobes and Doesn't Have Those Weird Hangers that You Can't Steal

When an Inn doesn't give a fuck about their hangers, you know you're in decent digs. This goes to the rise of the Orange. Syracuse dominated Villanova at home on Saturday, and asserted themselves as the best team in the nation's best conference. With the losses mentioned above, they're now the national #1, and the prohibitive favorite to win a national title. I can't remember a time when the Orange were better suited to go all the way. Knowing their history, this probably means they'll lose second round. But still, it's exciting. I'm already having visions (graphic wet dreams) of a Syracuse-Duke championship game.


7 - As Awesome as Being Done with Airports for a Long Time

To the USA, winners of the Winter Olympic medal count for the first time since 1932. Best anti-German moment since V-E Day, if you ask me. Not if you ask the veterans, though. They. Do. Not. Agree.

vs.

Who you got?


8 - As Awesome as the UNC Arboretum in February

Pretty great, but you can't help wishing you were in the same place in March. Sorta like my Dukies, who look like worldbeaters at the moment. They crushed UVA, a decentish ACC club, in Charlottesville, and they're primed to win the ACC regular season title and finish with a perfect home record. Above all, they're finally starting to get some respect in the rankings, breaking through to #4 in the latest poll. Could this be the first time in a while that a Blue Devils squad is peaking at the right moment? Things look good, but I'd love to still be here in March.


9 - As Awesome as New Orleans' French Quarter

Beautiful place with beautiful architecture. It was a total pleasure walking around that neighborhood, and I could have stayed 2 weeks without getting tired of it. This goes to Zach Parise's goal with 24 seconds left against the Canadians. I've never gone more apeshit over hockey in my life, and I'm sure I never will again. It was one of those situations where my girlfriend was actually alarmed at how loud I was screaming. I ran around our hotel room, pounded the walls, and kept shouting 'YOU CAN'T HOLD US!' It was glorious. I watched Parise's leap into the boards over and over, and kept looking at the reaction of the Canadian faces in the crowd. If the US had won that game, it would be one of the greatest American Olympic moments ever. Probably #2, after the Miracle.

Unfortunately, both the French Quarter and that hockey game have something awful and tacky about them that sticks in the forefront of everyone's mind: Bourbon Street and Sidney Crosby's OT goal. Those two elements may keep them from being perfect 10s, but the heart is undeniable.


10 - As Awesome as Winning the NAIL Bowl

What's the NAIL Bowl, you ask? Oh, only the North American Independent Football League championship! And my team, Brooklyn White, won! LEGENDARY.

Even more legendary? Billy Demong. The Saranac Lake, New York native won our country's first ever gold medal in Nordic Combined on Thursday, becoming a pioneer, a champion, and an icon. I knew the result before I watched the event, thanks to a slew of text messages from my friends, but it didn't diminish the viewing one iota. When he took off like a cannon shot toward the end of the race, pulling away from his teammate Johnny Spillane on the uphill, I got goosebumps. What it means to watch someone claim such a brilliant moment for themselves, after adversity beyond what most of us experience, is pretty indescribable. Congratulations, Billy, and thank you. In a world with a lot of false heroes, you're an inspiration.

Back, Despite Evidence to the Contrary

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