Friday, July 31, 2009

The Ballad of Big Phony

It begins with struggle...



"If I test positive by using any kind of banned substance, I'm going to disrespect my family, the game, the fans and everybody," Ortiz said. "And I don't want to be put in that situation. So what I will do, I won't use it. I'm pretty sure everybody is on the same page."

-David Ortiz

"They pick me [to be tested for steroids] every time. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I'm a big guy, or what, but all I know is all they are going to find is a lot of rice and beans."

- David Ortiz in The Boston Globe

"I don't do that anymore because they don't have the approval for that here, so I know that, so I'm off buying things at the GNC back in the Dominican Republic,” Ortiz told The Boston Herald. He added: "I don't know if I drank something in my youth, not knowing it.”

-David Ortiz, 2007

"I think you clean up the game by the testing. I test you, you test positive, you're going to be out. Period."

- David Ortiz

""Ban 'em for the whole year"."

- David Ortiz, on proven steroid users, in February 2009

But what happens when the juice runs out?

Ladies and gents, the upshot:

And to conclude, a joke!

What's the difference between Ortiz and the two other gentlemen in this picture?

Bush and Cheney may have screwed the country, but Ortiz gave it to himself in the ass! Hey-oooooooooooo!!!

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