Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Plushenko is a Huge Crybaby

(Note: Seth Curry Saves Duke! is expanding due to the economic rebound, and will now be posting several times a day. This is one such 'extra' post. The longer morning posts will still exist, and will now be labeled "Morning." You can find today's morning post below.)

I'm in a rush this afternoon, so here's a brief recap of Evgeni Plushenko is the biggest belly-aching biatch in the Olympics.

-Lost the gold medal to Even Lysacek because he looked like he was being hit by severe wind gusts on every jump. Also, he's amazingly creepy, but I'm not sure if the judging system is sophisticated enough to deduct for that yet.

-Was shocked- shocked!- that he lost. He thought the fact that he did a quadruple jump meant he would win hands down over every competitor. But as Lsyacek put it, if figure skating were just about one jump, they'd give them 10 seconds and no music.
But according to Plushenko, men's figure skating without a quadruple jump is "women's figure skating."

-Told anyone who would listen that he thought for sure he'd won the gold.

-During the medal ceremony, he actually had the balls to step up onto the gold medal platform for a brief, "significant" moment, before stepping down to silver.

-Afterward, in the press conference, he repeated that he thought he won the gold, condescendingly said he'd share it with Lysacek, and then got up and walked out. Predictably, members of the state-run Russian media (wearing Team Russia jackets to show their objectivity) walked out with him.

-Designed a website where he claimed to have won the "Platinum Medal" in Vancouver.

You can read here for more fun details.

You're a whiner, Evgeni. And an arrogant, smarmy-looking Ivan to boot:

Putin got in on the act, sending him a telegram* saying he thought he put out a gold-medal worthy performance.

*My friend Spike's comment: "Telegram? I knew the Russian economy was bad, but wow."

As a side note, doesn't it suck that we only had like ten years not to be afraid of Russia? Nobody seemed to know their economy was tanking in the 80s, so the Red Scare was alive and well right up until their collapse. Then they were poor again for a while, but now they have a few mega-businesses, Putin, and some military clout. I'm terrified of Russia again, and I don't feel I had enough time to enjoy the brief halcyon days.

PS to Prime Minister Putin - if you take over America within the next few years, please understand that this post was designed to flush out anti-Russian sentiment in your future colony. Thank you.

Have a nice week and weekend, comrades.

No comments:

Post a Comment