Monday, February 22, 2010

US - Canada: The Final Tally

(Note: Seth Curry Saves Duke! is expanding due to the economic rebound, and will now be posting several times a day. This is one such 'extra' post. The longer morning posts will still exist, and will now be labeled "Morning." You can find today's morning post below.

I promise I will stop posting this message at some point. Probably this week.)

If you haven't yet read about my disastrous anti-Canada facebook campaign, you can read more here. The gist is that I used my gf's account (she went to school in Canada, has friends from there) to post inciteful status updates. Among the main points I hit were:

-Crosby is a coward, just like Gretzky
-Martin Brodeur is a bad goalie (or 'Bro-Poor')
-Switzerland will beat Canada (didn't happen)
-US will beat Canada (5-3!)
-The maple leaf is not up to snuff as a symbol


Here's what I've learned in the aftermath:

-The girlfriend's best friend is furious at her, and me by proxy.

-The girlfriend's other main college friend de-friended her.

-The girlfriend is back in touch with ex-boyfriends and will probably marry them all.

-The girlfriend's brother was 100% on board, and actually seems to really hate Canada.

-A lot of people posted semi-angry messages.

-Some took solace in the fact that the Canadians were ahead in ice dancing.

-Canadians have trouble writing 'medals.' (Happened twice, first had an unnecessary apostrophe, second was 'metals,' which actually seems kinda appropriate.)

-Canadians are convinced that Americans care more about them losing than America winning...and after my conduct, and reading the status updates of a bunch of other Americans (average message: "HOLY SHIT, FUCK YOU CANADA, WE DID IT!), this seems to be true.

-I am an asshole.

There you have it. The whole thing is a big mess. Nah, not a mess...more like a clusterfuck. Wait, that's not exactly right either...traffic accident? No, no...what am I trying to think of?

Oh yeah, I remember:

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