"Whatever you do, DON'T let the dog near water, cuz water makes him go crazy and then the whole town's in trouble!"
And of course the idiot leads the dog to a lake or something. This is probably a terrible example, and I'm not sure I'm even making sense. But this should clear it up:
Yesterday, playing the WASHINGTON FUCKING NATIONALS, the Yanks had men on first and third with one out, down a run, bottom of the ninth. Robbie Cano at the plate.
"Robbie, striking out or popping up to the infield is pretty bad here, because it costs us an out, but at least we'll have another chance with the next batter. Pretty much anything else you do will score a run, and we'll probably win after that. But whatever you do, DON'T ground into a game-ending double play."
That crazy Robbie, he went and got himself a 6-4-3! So we lost to the Nationals, a team who shouldn't come within eight runs of us, and now today's game will probably get rained out and we'll have split the series. Glorious.
Robbie's batting average: .308
Robbie's average with 2 outs and runners in scoring position: .212
I have insane amounts of work to catch up on after my little two-day hiatus. The US Open is in Long Island this weekend, but this awful weather is in danger of raining the whole thing out. Luckily, the Yanks play in Florida, so we should have some baseball, which is nice since going outside might be impossible.
Time for a sweet punch line:
WHAT IS THIS, SEATTLE?!