32 Edgy Slogans for 32 World Cup Teams

Group A Team South Africa - You can run, but you can't (apart)heid! Team Mexico - Proudly representing the 60% of Mexico our government still controls. Team Uruguay - Like Argentina, but less fun! Team France - If you've seen London, but aren't quite ready to see somebody's underpants, welcome! Group B Team South Korea - Names with more than one syllable are pretentious. Team Argentina - We still haven't shed a tear for Eva Peron. Team Nigeria - Unlike those douchebags in Niger, we're not landlocked! Team Greece - Devaluing an entire continent's currency since 2010! Group C Team Slovenia - We're not 100% clear on our location either- maybe the Balkans? Team USA - Fuck this, we're using our hands! Team England - Despite the accent, you'd be surprised how unsophisticated most of our people are! Team Algeria - You may know us as the 16th of 20 nations to defeat France in warfare. Group D Team Germany - No, seriously, make another Nazi joke. They're totally hilarious. Asshole. Team Ghana - We're only Ghana break break your break break your heart! Team Serbia - Laughing our way through a whimsical history! Team Australia - We're all descended from convicts, bitch! Group E Team Netherlands - Exit light! Enter night! Take my hand! You'll never beat the Netherlands! Team Japan - Taking our inspiration from the Punch-Out character Piston Honda. Team Cameroon - Don't we totally sound like we should be from Southeast Asia?! Team Denmark - Actually, we don't even really like that play. Group F Team Paraguay - The only country with two capital cities oh wait that's Bolivia shit. Team Italy - We don't have many pools, so we just dive on the field! Team New Zealand - Wait, we're not from Australia? I thought this place looked small... Team Slovakia - Yes, we still sometimes mess up and say 'Czecho' first. Group G Team Brazil - Oh God, our game is so fucking beautiful, whoopty-doo! Team Ivory Coast - Still the only country where both names are also soap. Team Portugal - Something's fishy around here! HAHA! Team North Korea - 100-time silver medalist in Korean tourism! Group H Team Spain - Now that you mention it, it is kinda annoying that Portugal steals our coast. Team Switzerland - If you gave us a choice, we'd take a nice watch over the army knife, cheese, 'miss,' and the family Robinson. Team Honduras - Still pissed that Panama got the canal. Team Chile - Willing to sing the 'Baby-Back Ribs' song for laughs.