Wednesday, June 9, 2010

World Cup Preview, Group D



The Netherlands

holy SHITS man, this is my country! We are fucking of the awesome, are you serious? Get ready america, NOBODY is to party like someone from the holland. every shirt i am wearing is orange for 8 fucking years you guys! are we remember taht mikel stip from rem is singing 'i have my spine i have my orange crush'??? taht is my country, ORANGE CRUSH! kick every single team right in the pants! for real, show me any sexy girl and i will show you how to make every single womans underwear drop in the whole room!!!!! ah yes baby, you can ask your friend or whomever you find, anders knurtsen can trick them to having kiss. yowwww~~~~!!!! i am six foot fores and my hair is BRIGHT RED. i will make serious guarantee. team netherlands will score 90 friggin goals every game. arjen robben, i promise he will party like no other!!! dancing on the midfield and probably doing funny prank like dressing up like BEAUTIFUL LADY to seduce the referee into making horrible call!!


yuck, man, single most BORING country in all of europe. so serious you are going to denmark only by accident on way to driving to france or someplace. wow man it is like hell in there just all weird unhappy peoples. i am telling you honest, there is one good thing about denmark and it is a play named hamlet written by old man from greats britain. if someone of denamrk writes that play, believe me it would be boring like the WORLD RECORD fattest encyclopedia. everyone there all the time lecturing about glaciers. so sucks, large time. i one time went to party in denmark and even girls there HAVE PENIS! just kiddingggg!!!!!! this is a classic holland joke. no penis on girls but oh man they will not even dance unless music is just lyrics of a retired person reading instructions for making birthday cake. so dumb you guys! if ever you land by accident of denmark, disguise as a sheep or something and travel the land until you see a bunch of people partying nonstop like total fucking nutsos and then you know you have REACHED NEDERLANDS!!!!!


i am hate to say anything ill about a bout japan because many of awesome musicians i like have career on that island. many respect for asia japan, they have two million girls wearing cartoon clothes and all to giggling make me so confused. i swear you guys my control goes WACKO when i am around too many japan girl, i start dancing like EDUARD THE MADDEST MONKEY and just party until i am collapsed like sack of wheat in bamboo bedroom. but is weird, i am not know until this morning year that any peoples in japan know soccers. they are fourty times amazing at ping pongs and ninja but i have flied to japan so much and never saw even one ball! this makes my mind go whatttt?!?!? maybe they are thinking it is giant game of ping pongs? i don't know! one evening i am down by ocean in japan and old man in japan dress begins singing. i am not understand his voice because they alphabet is confusing like too many riddles at bedtime, but is so beautiful. i see the moon and have his song in my ear and i am like oh crap japan maybe total BEST country on planet. everyone there says i am wicked and kind.


what the fucks man?! i am know nothing absoltue ZERO about twhatever this place is. camera-oon! in holland we having saying never touch a hot plate if you see a speck of smoke but then again how are we to know what to eat? cameroon maybe will surprise entire universe and win world cup by 800 goals. is possible, you guys. i am full of mysteries about this country. what is national anthem? are they from anartica ocean? maybe their whole peoples have big homes of ice, or maybe they treat a kitten as an EMPOROR?! lololol i am all the time joking you, i hope they don't have cat king, how frightening no? but for serious if cat is king it probably will have trouble from dog revolution. a dog is a dumb creature we are all to agree, but once they understand how many muscle they own it is bad horrible day for whole cat empire. he will be taken down from cat throne forever and made to fetch bowls of milk and dog treats from neighborhing nations until the day cat god takes him for upward to cat heaven. this story is superly not fun, man i can't believe i am FUCKING CRYING TEARS while i write.

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