Every year, the US Naval fleet (or some of its larger boats, at least) docks in New York and unleashes swarms of white-clad sailors on New York. This is a difficult period where the young ladies of the city spend a week either swooning or pretending not to swoon. As my girlfriend put it, "ah yes, Fleet Week...where a ton of guys are made exponentially cuter by uniforms. I like Fleet Week."
It's tough to be a straight civilian dude during Fleet Week. Not only do the sailors have massive lady status because of their uniforms, but they've also presumably been around the world fighting wars. So they're better looking and tougher, and probably more stoic, too. I've been to Yankee games during Fleet Week before, and the crowd always goes nuts when they show the sailors on the big screen.
Typically, I spend about ten seconds appreciating the contributions of these young men before resenting them with all my heart.
In an effort to assert my masculinity, I've worn sailor suits during past Fleet Weeks. Unfortunately, they were the kind with shorts and a bow tie that my mom used to dress me up in as a baby, and weren't effective at wooing the fairer sex. Luckily, with a steady girlfriend, I can avoid this embarrassment and just keep wearing my cop uniform.
Anyway, I hope the power of the Navy can help the Yanks turn things around against Cleveland. That series starts Friday. In the meantime, the Twins game suspended last night resumes at 5pm, featuring brief, hilarious appearances from the Yankee bullpen. Then we finish the mini double-header with tonight's regularly scheduled game at 8. Andy will be taking on Liriano, the AL's pitcher of the month for April. Personally, I will be at a production of "Our Town" in the West Village. Sometimes that's just how you gotta roll.
Federer made third round in straight sets earlier this morning, and Orlando tries to win a home game later tonight. See y'all tomorrow.
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Somewhere I have a picture of you as a chubby, curly haired toddler in that gay little sailor outfit. If only you could carry your toddler-self around dressed in that outfit I bet it would get you a bunch of chicks. The ladies love guys with cute babies in stupid outfits. ''oooh, look at the cute little sailor boy!"
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