Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Morning: I Hope the Off Day Worked

The Yankees spent yesterday in Minneapolis, which the city's tourism bureau claims is "a progressive destination with a dynamic vibe and a whirlwind of creative energy."

Here is a list of the struggling Yankees, and the things they might have done in Minneapolis yesterday.

Mark Teixeira: Visited the Mary Tyler Moore statue downtown.

Benefit: Renewed his optimism and zest for life, and gave him a new mantra: you can turn the world on with your smile. His old mantra was "give me any chance, I'll take it!" from the theme song to Laverne & Shirley.

Derek Jeter: Said a prayer in the Basilica of St. Mary

Benefit: As the first basilica ever built in America (1907), St. Mary's is the patron church of baseball, the first game invented in America. It's been known to increase a ballplayer's BABIP by up to 40 points. Joe Mauer has his own pew inside.

Joba Chamberlain: Picked up 16 year-old girls in the Mall of America

Benefit: Joba's tricks don't work on NYC girls. But get him in the world's biggest shopping mall, and the dude is in his element. Back to basics is the name of his game, and that translates to the mound.

Brett Gardner: Ran across the Spoonbridge & Cherry sculpture

Benefit: A "whimsical sculpture" and a "Minneapolis icon," this Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen piece is known to bestow the gift of 90 stolen bases on anyone brave enough to cross its bowed handle. Gardner went even further, reaching the very tip of the cherry. Meanwhile, Victor Martinez and Jason Varitek were still holding a baseball and trying to stand up from a defensive crouch somewhere in St. Paul.

Other things in sports:

*Rafael Nadal plays his first round match at Roland-Garros later this morning. And I just found out I'm going to have to miss the final next Sunday! If only I knew how to tape things...

*Andy Roddick is currently in the 5th set of his first round match against Jarkko Nieminen. Nobody expected America's top gun to go very far on clay, but a first round exit would be pretty surprising regardless. Especially to a villain from the Die Hard movies.

*The Magic avoided the sweep in Boston with an OT victory last night. They need to win three in a row to overcome the 3-0 deficit, but two of those games would be at home. I don't think it's going to happen, but it does make things awfully interesting; a 3-0 comeback has never happened in the NBA, but the Magic are the higher seed, and need to steal just one win on the road...stay tuned.

*The Red Sox are starting to click into gear, having won 3 straight against the Phillies and Rays. Buccholz and Lester are throwing particularly well, and the lineup is producing runs against strong pitching. Sadly, what looked like a nice Yankee lead has dwindled to 2 games with our recent woes, and the AL East has turned into a 4-horse race. Should make for an interesting June.

*Flyers and Blackhawks for the Stanley Cup. Every year, I hope for two things in hockey. First, I hope that the Stanley Cup Finals will come down to a 7th game, and that there will be overtime in that game. Second, I hope a team from Boston or Philadelphia doesn't win. This could either be a very good or very bad hockey year, by my standards. Go 'Hawks!

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