"No bigger market's gonna love you half as much as we do."
I'm tired today, and I realize this video is corny, and I realize these are local celebrities who may have a lot less at stake than the common fan, and I realize they even insulted the denizens of the greatest city on Earth, but still...brought tears to the eyes. And it exists because of a wider, more legitimate plea that rests on the tip of every Cleveland tongue, and hangs with a hopeful weight in the ether.
"No bigger market's gonna love you half as much as we do."
The classic move, of course, would be for Lebron to stay in Cleveland and eventually win a title. But this is America, where good things don't happen to the downtrodden, so he'll move to New York or Chicago or LA. But it's true: nobody will love him without reserve like Cleveland. Wait 'til he comes to my town and learns that being the best player in your sport is a one-way ticket to endless abuse from fans and media until you win a title. Ask A-Rod about that.
I keep watching this video. It's easy to joke about how shitty their sports teams are, and how bad the economy is, but as of this morning we should all want to give Cleveland a hug. They had to lose that series to Boston. They have to lose Lebron. They have to lose jobs. They have to live with an inferiority complex that even extends to other gutted cities like Detroit. You could easily wax on and on about the loss of Lebron as metaphor for the loss of pride and spirit in the American rust belt, and the gradual, awful decay of our country's industrial cities. In a year, the big Lebron sign will be a target for graffiti and a symbol of self-hatred. Or it will be torn down. And there will be tea parties and Wal-Marts and busted unions and global warming and young liberals in New York City lining up around the block desperate to land a supporting role in the next McDonald's commercial.
Oh my God, stop typing you pompous asshole.
Sigh.
Please stay, Lebron. We really need you.
The staggering Yanks are taking on the heat-seeking Twins starting tonight. I'm worried, but only a little. Have a good weekend.
I don't know why they had to put that scary picture with their final plea. They couldn't have found a photo where LeBron looks compassionate and like he might actually stay in a smaller market... to save their downtown?
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