Readers, I never thought this day would come. But it's here. Without further fanfare, it's time to declare my intentions:
I'm going to the University of North Carolina.
You may suspect a trick, but this isn't some April Fool's joke by a dude with calendar difficulties. Starting in August, I'll be attending graduate school at UNC Chapel Hill.
But I'm still going to be a Duke basketball fan. Obviously.
However, I was thinking of becoming a UNC football fan. The whole UConn thing didn't pan out, and I only ever went to a handful of Duke games. There's no loyalty or passion there. I couldn't even tell you the coach's name, unless Krzyzewski runs that program too. So if this kind of thing is allowed, I'll jump on board with the football Heels.
Finally, something they can agree on.
So, fellow Carolina football fans, what do you think of our quarterback? I mean, is he a chump, or what? Or is he actually good? That'd be nice. And how about that defensive line? I hope those sallies came to play this season! Otherwise, I want to seem them all wearing dresses! Like a bunch of ladies! AM I RIGHT?! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT OFFENSIVE LINE! GIVE 'EM SOME LIPSTICK AND THESE CLOWNS WILL FIT RIGHT IN AT A DEBUTANTE BALL!*^
*Note to future Carolina football friends: most of my football discourse is just me comparing players on our team to women.
^Debutante ball jokes are still huge in the south, right? I made my living on those from '01-'05. Let me know.
Anyway...see you at the old well.