Friday, March 12, 2010

Morning: The Charge Starts Now

Happy Friday, you sweet bastards.

I know I said I'd be tape-delay blogging every Duke game during the ACC Tourney, but it turns out today's game against UVA starts at noon, so that's a no-go. But I will be offering my thoughts and opinions after the game right in this very location. And the weekend games are still a go- my battle station is armed and ready.

The border is certainly my favorite part of that picture.

So, Virginia. Old Virginia. Home of the Civil War,* the Dave Matthews Band,** and Virginia Slims.*** You've got a lot to offer, you crazy state. But here's what you don't have to offer: a competitive game for Duke. We took them down by 18 at their place two weeks ago, and I doubt it'll go much better for the Cavs on a neutral floor.

So I won't waste a ton of time analyzing this game, because if you'll allow me a cocky moment, we're going to run them directly off the floor. We will treat them like obstinate cattle upon our horses of three-point shooting and pressure defense. We will drive them from the "Texas" of their own optimism to the "Montana" of post-game despair. They will be shipped by the "railroad" of our superior skill to the "Chicago meat market" of their disheartened post-game malaise. Here, they will be slaughtered and sold in pieces to the "wealthy 1890 Illinois family" of the NIT, and consumed by the "overweight privileged child wearing lederhosen" of that tournament's obscurity.

(This paragraph has been an example of excellent writing.)

*Not exactly true.
**Only sorta true.
***Not really true at all.

Now that we've thoroughly dealt with Duke's task, a quick look at yesterday's action.

The Curious Case of Texas

Do they even make the tournament anymore? From a #1 ranking in mid-January, they've gone on to lose 9 of their last 16. Here are the 7 wins: Texas Tech twice, Ok. State twice, ISU, Oklahoma, Nebraska. Not a good one in the bunch. The Longhorns are currently unranked, and Baylor just dropped them in the quarterfinals of the Big 12 tourney. What compelling reason does the committee have to include them? Is there any chance they could get past the second round? And if they don't make it, would this be the first time a team ranked #1 after January 1st didn't make the field of 64?

Madness in Madison Square

Total mayhem in the Big East tourney as Syracuse, Villanova, and Pitt all went down in the quarterfinals yesterday. The only top 4 seed to survive was WVU, and they needed a bad turnover by Cincy and a buzzer three to make it happen. Yesterday on stub hub, when there was a possibility that Cuse and Nova might play, the cheapest semi-final session ticket you could get on stubhub was $140. Now, with the Georgetown-Marquette and Notre Dame-West Virginia match-ups set, those tickets are down to 80. By 3pm, I'm guessing you can get one for $30, and I hope to pick up two tickets for 15 each before the game. Insanity reigns.

UNC's NIT Bubble Has Burst

That was a fun sentence to write.

The Collection of Underacheiving Humans Known as Clemson Screwed Me Again

I always get roped into picking this team too far, both in the ACC and the big dance, because they're very "athletic." I forget to take into account that they have a mediocre coach and always underachieve in March. Old mistakes were repeated this year when I picked them to upset FSU in the ACC semis. Instead, they lost last night to a poor NC State team. Dear sirs: may I suggest a new slogan for your team? Clemson: There will be this one home game in January where we look totally unbeatable!

Today is just chock-full of fun games, so check in later. I will be here, waiting for you.

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