(SCSD now has multiple daily posts. Don't miss the others below.)
In this feature, I will share with my reading public some of the recent google searches that led unsuspecting souls to my blog. These are all true and verbatim, taken from my statcounter page. The usual googlers get here by searching for information about Seth Curry, or just googling my blog title. But occasionally there are some random dandies. I'm only doing the funny ones. Here we go!
"Mason Plumlee cute" led to this post. This is now the official blog for the legions of females who spend time wondering about the romantic life of either Plumlee. Dear reader: let me save you some time. There are no websites on the entire internet that agree with you about Mason Plumlee being cute. I mean, I'm a dude of the straight persuasion (my doctor confirmed it, so you can save your jokes), but COME ON. LOOK AT HIM! He's hideous.
"Kyle Singler black eye" led to this post. At first, I read this as "Kyle Singler black," and was very intrigued. As if two friends were having a debate, and on friend was like "Kyle Singler is the best white player in the NCAA," and the other friend was like "what are you talking about? Singler's black, dude." And the argument raged on until they had to resort to google.
"Blimp Greensboro" led to this post, where I made a crack that the city landscape looked like crap on the ESPN blimp shot. Seemed like a throwaway at the time. But now, when the crazy terrorist who ran this search finds his blimp and attacks Greensboro from the air, I can say he once visited Seth Curry Saves Duke!
"Judi Dench young" led to this post. There's a certain satisfaction in knowing that some devoted film blogger lost a hit because I spent about three seconds wondering if Dame Judi used to be attractive. It's the kind of satisfaction you don't find in honorable people.
"What happen to seth curry that plays for duke" led to the main blog. Hurrah! Our casual, no punctuation googler is back! (See third one down.) 'Yo whatup google its me again I'm the dude from last week who was wonderin' bout my man seth curry you know the dude was supposed to be at duke this year but i been watching duke games and he barely plays what's the deal does coach k hate him or something or did he maybe quit basketball cuz of family shit anyway hit me back man i didn't get nothing last time and i heard you supposed to be the best peace.'
"Kyle Singler zombie" led to this post. I like to think this reader is actually a huge zombie fan, and thought Singler might be one. He started reading my post with interest, but soon got disgusted that the whole thing took the idea of zombies lightly. He snorted in anger, took a sip of Mountain Dew, wiped some dandruff off his desk, and muttered a dark thought like "this blogger will be the first to be consumed."
"Jon Scheyer joke" led to this post. There were no great Scheyer jokes there, but in case this googler comes back, here's my favorite:
THERE'S A THREE BALL RIGHT IN YOUR FACE, FUCKER!
(oops, I forgot to mention, this joke can only be told on a basketball court just past the three-point line.)
"Duke Blue Devil poems" led, again, to this post. When I wrote that entry, I had no idea how huge the market for Duke poetry was, particularly the Jon Scheyer subset. Look for a lot more Duke-themed poetry in the future. It's the basketball junkie's version of fan fiction!
"Outrage Duke a 1 seed" led to to the main blog, where, unfortunately, I didn't have a huge picture of some loser whining.
"Why does Duke always milk the clock" led to the main blog. I hope this guy stuck around. The rest of us are wondering the same thing. And I highly prefer this search to a similar one I got a few days back from a flamboyantly gay John Wayne fan: "Why won't the Duke ever milk my cock?"
(I'm not proud of myself, guys.)
"Erin Andrews glasses" led to this post. Interesting timing, considering that the guy who videotaped her through a hotel peephole just got sentenced to 30 months in prison. YES, HAHA, ERIN ANDREWS SURE IS NICE LOOKING. THAT'S A LEGAL THING TO SAY! I WOULDN'T EVER THINK TO COMMENT ON ANYTHING BESIDES HER GLASSES, THOUGH. JUST GOOD CLEAN FUN HERE, AUTHORITIES. NOTHING TO SEE! I ADMIRE THE FBI! WHERE WOULD AMERICA BE WITHOUT HOMELAND SECURITY??
That's all for now, but it's worth mentioning again how many google searches there are for Mason and Miles Plumlee's girlfriend. Totally unbelievable. And it's just those two! Nobody seems to care if Scheyer or Singler or anyone else has a girlfriend. Just the Plumlees. It's a weird phenomenon, but if you don't think I'm going to take advantage of it, you're crazy. So please excuse this next section of text, loyal readers...it's just something I have to do to increase traffic. Hate the game, and all that.
XXXXX OMG MASON PLUMLEE GIRLFRIEND HOT NUDE HOTTEST GIRLFRIEND EVER DUKE MILES PLUMLEE GIRLFRIEND SO BEAUTIFUL OH MAN NAKED SEX VIDEOS PORN HOUND BOWWOW PLUMLEE PLUMLEE PLUMLEE WHO LIKES BOOBS GIRLFRIEND TOTAL MILF SETH CURRY SAVES DUKE PLUMLEE LOVER XXXXX
Have a nice night.