Thursday, March 11, 2010

Why Kansas is the Worst Team in College Basketball

(SCSD now has multiple daily posts. Don't miss the others below.)

WARNING: This might be the dumbest thing you read all day.

But despite its complete irrelevance, I had a pleasant time tracking this down. I tried to set out to prove that Kansas is the worst team in Division 1 college basketball, despite their #1 ranking, and I believe I've succeeded. Here's why the Jayhawks shouldn't get a tournament berth, using bold and italic and underline randomly for emphasis:

The Marist Red Foxes, of the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference, have the worst record in Division 1 college basketball. At 1-29, they are truly miserable.


On January 2nd, they beat the Manhattan Jaspers.

On December 19th, those SAME Jaspers beat the LIU Blackbirds! (GASP)

(cue conspiracy theory music, floating graphics, sinister faces)

On 11/21, LIU beat the Navy Midshipmen!

On 1/23, almost two months later, Navy beat Army!

But back in November, Army beat Harvard!

Harvard beat Boston College!

Boston College beat South Carolina!

South Carolina beat Tennessee!


So Kansas, you see, is by extension the worst team in basketball. It's the transitive property! It always works!

Thank you for your time. Here are my ACC predictions.

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